Benji Madden wrote Paris Hilton a love song. Aw.

“He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio,” Hilton, 27, said Monday night at the LG launch of the TV series Scarlet. “He surprised me with it. It’s called, ‘Shine Your Light.’ It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

Paris needs to date somebody over at the CDC so he can name an STD after her.

Source

God knew what he was doing when he designed women. Uh, look at those succulent breasts and tell me you don’t want to suck on them?!

Here’s Halle Berry showcasing her boobs for all us horndogs in Hollywood yesterday. Bless her and her giving ways.

Write Your Own Fantasy: If I could get Halle alone I would _________ and ______________.

More photos after the jump! Continue »

The Swiss chemist who invented LSD died, Albert Hofmann, died of a heart attack yesterday. He was 102.

In memoriam of his death, Paula Abdul took acid and “saw into the future” as Ryan Seacrest so elegantly put it.

Check it out!

Lizzie McGuire star Hilary Duff paid MTV’s TRL a visit to promoter her new movie “War, Inc.” yesterday. The movie co-stars the lovable John Cusack.

It doesn’t matter how hot she gets, the chick still looks like a horse! I’ll go easy on her, but only because she’s the only Disney chick to not become a total slut with time.

Guess the rumors are true, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are dating!

InTouch Weekly reports John flew down to Miami to visit Jen over the weekend.

He flew to Miami on April 23 and checked into the Four Seasons hotel, but insiders say that he spent virtually no time there during his visit — opting instead to hang out in the $3,000-a-night presidential suite at the Mandarin Oriental, where Jen has been staying while shooting the movie Marley & Me. And the two were inseparable over the long weekend. When asked how he was doing, after spending four days with his new love, John smiled. “My weekend was good,” he told In Touch exclusively.

Damn, the dude flew all the way across the country to visit some chick he just started dating?! Jen better have put out. At least some head.

John Mayer reminds me of the kind of guy who cries after sex. Not because he’s sensitive, but because he’s a tool. I once had sex with a friend of mine in college who started crying right before we did it. Then he pulled out his 12″ meat and it was I who wound up crying.

An old boss of mine was convinced that I was into S&M and hitting swinger clubs on the weekends. Every Monday he’d appear at my desk and jokingly ask with a ring of truth in his voice, “How were the clubs this weekend?”

In truth threesomes and gangbangs have always fascinated me. People always make a face at the idea, but so far as I’m concerned mathematics is on my side. My toes already curl when I orgasm, God only knows what feelings 3x the pleasure must be like!

In the end, I know I could never do such a thing. I’m in a completely different world when having sex, but the idea of being surrounded by stranger’s fluids the moment I step back to reality is enough to make me nauseous. Not to mention the amount of STDs running rampant out there.

Funny story. A new this chick who invited a male virgin to have a threesome with her boyfriend and her. After cumming on the chick’s back from behind, the boyfriend (who she’d been blowing) ran into the bathroom sobbing. That’s pretty much what I envision the experience to be like.

Statistical data from 2004 reports that 14 percent of Americans have participated in threesomes, while another 21 percent have fantasized about it.

Which brings me to my point. What are your opinions about threesomes? It would be great to hear from those who have experienced sex with multiple partners at the same time. For those of you who haven’t done it, have you fantasized about it? Are your urges strong enough that you think you one day might act on them?

What do you say — yay or nay?

Jeremy Piven is Hitting That (Drunken Stepfather)

Lunch with Emmy Rossum (Celebslam)

Mariah Carey In Her Pink Bikini (Bossip)

Salma Is A Hard Working Mama (Lossip)

Hollywood Celebrity Virgins (Gone Hollywood)

Bret Michaels Does Manilow (SOW)

Red Sox Girls Get Sexy For New Site (Complex)

New Yorkers Really Love Smoking Weed (City Rag)

Model Heidi Klum Gets Dissed (CelebNewsWire)

Who knew finding halfway decent photos of Nicole ‘CoCo’ Austin would prove so time consuming? Last night I found some badass ones but wound up falling asleep in the process. Then today all I found were LQ.

Anyhoo, I was able to find these kick ass ones of CoCo when she was still young and tight. You know, before Ice-T stretched her out and whatnot.

Every time I scope her ass I wonder what Ice-T does to make her cum. Her ass is so damn big, I’m not even sure his presumably ginormous c()ck is long enough to hit her G-spot.

More photos after the jump! Continue »

Social butterfly Kim Kardashian is still in Australia doing what she does best — nothing! Aw, that was mean. And not true. She’s really good at shaking her ass and flaunting her breasts, too.

Here she is yesterday at the launch of the new Jimmy Choo stand alone boutique at Castlereagh Street in Sydney, Australia.

I know her ass is injected with steroids or whatever, and that she wears too much makeup, but at the end of the day I still think she’s pretty. I would’ve thought she’d been prettier if Ray J had not pissed all over her, but hey, what’s a slut to do?

More photos after the jump! Continue »

Someone needs to bomb the offices of People Magazine before they cause society any more damage. The publication has released their annual “100 Most Beautiful” list and Rumer Willis was somehow snuck into the mix.

That had to have set back Bruce Willis and Demi Moore a couple mil - easily. Is it still considered “payola” if it’s not music related?

During an interview with Rumer, the 19-year-old potato spud said, “I grew up with a mom that most moms don’t look like.” She forgot to mention she grew up with a mom she would never look like either.

Below, behind the scene photos on the set of Walmart’s lame attempt to bring Op back into mainstream society. *Rolls eyes* Why the hell they picked Rumer ‘Potato Spud’ Willis, I have no idea. This rich beech has never set foot into a Walmart and we all know it!