That’s it! I’m officially done feeling sorry for this pathetic, alcoholic, drug-addicted skank! You know the ho can see the cameras! Hell, all Britney Spears has to do is turn on any freaking channel or read any effing blog to know what’s being said about her.

If she wasn’t famous, and we knew her personally, no one would think twice about telling her what an attention whore she is. My face is getting red with fury as I write this. Britney, close your damn legs. I can smell your fish taco all the way over here!

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Of all the UK glamour models out there, Abigail Clancy is by far one of the least appealing. That’s not to say I wouldn’t fancy poking her in the whiskers if permitted the chance. Here she is in the November issue of FHM. I mean, just look at that rack. I would lick the base of them while my fingers take a trip south. Landing strip not required.

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“The Hills” star Audrina Patridge managed to spoil a perfect fish taco moment by actually wearing panties like us normal broads. Doesn’t the ho know her 15 minutes are almost up?

Her flashing her roast beef could have at least made it last gotten her another five two minutes! Hell, upgrade that to a ping pong flying out her snatch and she might have an entire 20 minutes of fame!

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God, do I have the biggest crush on Rihanna.  Although I believe it’s partially fueled by my disdain towards Beyoncé.  I just love the fact that there’s someone hotter on the market to put her in her place. Problem is Rihanna’s ass isn’t anything near as delectable as Beyoncé’s.

Rihanna is so much sultrier than Beyoncé ever was.  That stare is begging for some cream on someones face… but it isn’t me and it isn’t sweet.   Baby wants some salty love juice on that tongue of hers.

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Hell, if this Seattle skank can’t control of her chin hair, can you imagine what her hole must look like? Jungle mania, yo! Wax those whiskers woman!

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It’s amazing how someone so beautiful can have such awful taste… in everything!  Her tastes in men suck, her fetishes are ghastly, and for as many beautiful outfits she wears, Kim Kardashian always manages to screw it up by wearing crap like this.

Seriously, check out this dress she wore to the Freedom United Launch Party hosted by Brittany Snow and Three 6 Mafia at Les Deux in Hollywood yesterday.  Did Mattel design that for Call-Girl Barbie?  Quick, someone pee on her face so it can distract me!

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Heidi Montag comes clean in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly, confirming rumors that she’d had undergone rhinoplasty and breast augmentation earlier this year.

This is as ridiculous as Papa Joe admitted Asslee Simpson had a nose job.

She said of her insecurities:

“ If I was with a guy and there was a girl next to me with big boobs, I would be like, ‘Oh, my God, he’s looking at her!’”

Heidi, you could have Pamela Anderson size boobs and men would still check out the tits standing next to you. It’s in their genetic makeup. And mine, too, for that matter. Every time I see a good pair I just want to motorboat the hell out of them.

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Hollywood icon Elizabeth Taylor showed up at Macy’s Passport AIDS event in Los Angeles yesterday with her newest love, wealthy Hawaiian businessman Jason Winters. Should the two wed, this would mark Liz’s ninth marriage.

She told showbiz bible Variety: “Jason Winters is one of the most wonderful men I’ve ever known and that’s why I love him. He bought us the most beautiful house in Hawaii and we visit it as often as possible.”

People are making such a fuss of this.  If the man is good to her, what’s the big deal? It’s freakin’ Liz Taylor! Let the woman have some fun before she croaks. It’s like depriving a homeless man money for booze. He’s got nothing else going for him, let the man drink in peace!

Photos of a young Elizabeth Taylor after the jump! Continue »

Why female celebs insist on going blonde the minute they start climbing up Hollywood’s social ladder is beyond me. Goddamn, this snatch was fugly even before she went blonde! Proof that two beautiful people are definitely capable of having a Jay Leno for a daughter.

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The ever brilliant Hugh Hefner has made Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson an offer they’re not dumb blonde enough to refuse. Playboy Magazine will pay each hussy $1 million to pose together in their magazine.

We all know these two are going to do it. And by “it” I mean ride each others kitty cats after their shoot. They might love sucking back some sausage, but you can’t tell me they haven’t dabbled in fish tacos from time to time.

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