Archive: June, 2007

It’s Naked Time for Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minillo

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Sadly Life & Style Magazine was kind inconsiderate enough to block out Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo’s private parts after they were photographed frolicking naked in Mexico. That, however isn’t going slow down our imaginations! What do you think, HOW BIG IS NICK LACHEY’S D*CK?

Hayden Panettiere Ho’s It Up

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Hayden Panettiere will toss your salad, but not before you pay the ho.

Following in the footsteps of classy ladies such as Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, photos have now surfaced of ‘Heroes’ star playing dress up, hooker style, in someone’s house. The camera must have just misssed the stripper pole, I’m sure. Her mom better sit down and have a talk with her now, before we have another coke snorting, d*ck blowing, salad tossing Hollywood teen star.

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Jessica Simpson Sweats Her Problems Away

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So things may not have worked out with John Mayer, but whatever. Jessica Simpson isn’t going to let her broken heart take away her hotness.  Ever since their breakup Jessica has been following the “5 Factor Diet”, who is also used by heartbreakers, such as Eva Mendes.

Hey, whatever it takes you to get over the ex, more power to you. Just please stop with the plastic surgery already; you’re going to ruin that pretty face!

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‘Transformers’ Better Be Good

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Growing up I was the little girl with G.I. Joe in one hand, Transformers in the other, and the naked Barbie on the bed. What? I had an active imagination as a child. Anyhoo, that being said this ‘Transformers’ movie better blow my motherf*cking mind or else I’m going to be mighty p*ssed. Granted my girlfriend Megan Fox is in the movie and all, so it can’t be that bad. If anything I can just put on my iPod and watch her lips move.

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More photos after the jump!

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Nicole Richie Is Delusional

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Nicole Richie is looking pretty close to heroin chic on the cover of Nylon Magazine’s August Issue. The whiz kid said:

“I don’t have a clue why I’m famous. I didn’t make myself famous… You’re doing it. I think people just want to say, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have a job she doesn’t do anything.’ They get off on that. But I do have a job, like everyone else.”

Do her and Paris have the same speech coach or something? Hey, douchebag, it’s not that you don’t have a job– it’s that your job is to goof off. ‘The Simple Life’ is nothing but a mockery of average Americans. Plus, you’re famous because you chose to put yourself in front of the camera, champ.

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All Hail Kim Kardashian’s Ass

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While she may be a fool to have followed through with ass implants, may I just say that I hope Kim Kardashian never regrets sharing the splendor that is her gynormous ass with all of us. Just look at it! Holy crap! It’s f*cking Asszilla! That is the sweetest camera angle on that ass. Seriously though, WOULD YOU TAP THAT ASS?

Cheryl “Tweedy” Cole Shows Off Her Bikini Bod In Barbados

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Wow, pop-singer Tweedy sure has a nice tight body. Every time I see a female celebrity flaunting their hotness on the beach I remember to put down the Ben & Jerry’s and go hit the gym. I should probably go and do that right now. Damn you Tweedy Cole!

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Hip-Hip-Hooray! The Spice Girls Reunite!

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Really, is anyone surprised by this? With their lifestyles I’m sure whatever money they’d made being Spice Girls the first time around is already long gone. But I will give them and their music the benefit of the doubt. After all, they’ve matured so much. Posh has dyed her hair blonde, Sporty wears more makeup, Ginger now dresses like a crazy mountain shepard lady, Baby now covers her t*ts and Scary has Eddie Murphy’s child. I can’t believe I remember all their names without a cheat sheet. SMH.

Nick Lachey To Commit Suicide… Again

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First Nick Lachey marries a dumb whore virgin and now he’s wants to marry another dumb whore? Ugh. Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo who have been dating for just one year are already talking about wedding bells and babies, apparently despite these crazy photos of his douchebag of a girlfriend putting a knife to Lindsay Lohan’s throat. I understand he wants a family and all, but patience is a virtue. Has your experience with Jessica taught you nothing? Don’t marry her, Nick, there’s better saner fish in the sea.

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Would You Like a Side of Fat with those Ribs?

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Seriously, as hot as Brooke Burke is there is just something about a woman showing off her ribs that I find quite unappealing. Not that that would prevent me from doing her. She still has a healthy set of thighs and a killer ass, despite her protruding rib cage, which are always a nice combo to hold onto. Plus, you can’t see the ribs doggie style. Is Brooke Burke too skinny?

More photos after they jump!

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