As much as we love to celebrity trainwrecks, we’re actually really, really hoping that this one isn’t true. A former bodyguard for Britney Spears is saying the the singer did the absolutely unthinkable to her children. Find out more about the allegations after the jump.

Fernando Flores, the ex-boyguard who originally accused Britney of sexually harassing him is also commenting on her allegedly warped parenting skills. Here are two especially shocking parts of the suit seen by Radar Online:

“Plaintiff perceived, during security checks of the perimeter, Defendant loudly having sexual relations while her two children were in the suite with her.”

“Defendant Spears immediately ran back towards her house screaming ‘Preston’ (i.e. Sean Preston, her elder son). She entered the residence through two French doors on the north side. Plaintiff exited the pool house, hearing Sean Preston screaming in terror and pain, and saw Defendant Spears at least twice savagely hitting the small child with Plaintiff’s belt.”

Beating the hell out of her kids and having sex in front of them? Wtf! And to make matters worse, Fernando is also alleging that Britney forced her two sons to continue eating seafood even though they were vomiting and having a severe allergic reaction to the food.

We all knew Britney was crazy, but this takes things to a whole new level if the allegations are true.

Via: Radar Online

Finally! Britney Spears has taken a shower, redone her extensions and lost some extra cushion for the pushin’… and we can all thank Glee for that. Check out more photos after the jump.

After getting in shape for her appearance on Glee, Britney showed off her toned figure on the beach in Hawaii. And might we say, she looks pretty sexy…well at least compared to the train wreck she was before. More photos below.

Via: Metro UK

In a break from Lindsay Lohan craziness we bring to you another formerly hot chick who has undoubtedly gone off the deep end. The latest accusations against Britney Spears: coming on to her bodyguard hardcore. Being sexually harassed by Britney doesn’t seem that terrible, except the fact that she is certifiably nuts. Find out just how uncomfortable Fernando Flores’ job got after the jump.

One person familiar with the situation told UK’s The Sun that:

“She was always giving him the come on and he felt if he didn’t reciprocate he could lose his job. He finally handed in his notice last week and is considering legal action.”

“Working for Britney is tough. She’s a nightmare to deal with and her emotions are totally out of control.

“She runs round the house naked and yelling at staff.

Ok, the running around naked doesn’t sound so bad, but the real tipping point was when Fernando and the rest of Brit’s bodyguards were put on undie duty. Britney’s dad told the staff they had to make sure that his beloved daughter wore underwear when she went out the avoid an unfortunate flashing incident. However, when her goodies popped up for a little paparazzi meet and greet, Fernando was blamed. That’s when the bodyguard had enough; he quit and now is thinking about suing the pop star.

So what’s the takeaway for Britney from this: keep your panties on, literally.

Via: The Sun

That high-pitched yelping you’re hearing right now is Lindsay Lohan screaming in agony. Find out why after the jump.

The once successful actress has had one of the most epic falls from grace that Hollywood has seen in a good while. If you thought Britney Spears shaving her head was bottom of the barrel you haven’t heard about LiLo. Due to a string of erratic behavior and overall hot mess-ness, Lindsay has been having a whole lot of trouble booking any sort of gigs lately. Movie roles have dried up as directors don’t want to deal with the Lohan circus and she’s even having difficulty booking guest appearances at clubs and other venues.

But if that didn’t make Lindsay feel worthless enough, maybe the fact that “Jersey Shore‘s” tannest, loudest and most ridiculous guidette (whose not actually a guidette) Snooki is raking in more cash than Lindsay is for hitting up the hottest nightclubs. One source even said:

“When Lindsay does get paid for attending events, she now gets $5,000 to $10,000, basically less than Snooki makes. It is sad and it is only getting worse.”

“If she does get work, which is really rare anymore, someone has to basically be by her side to get her ready for the event or meeting and make sure she shows up.”

Damn Lindsay. I think it’s time you start getting your act together. When a bubbly, bouncing, fully poofed chick from the “Jersey Shore” is pocketing more cash than you are, there is a serious problem!

Via: Perez Hilton

I knew Twitter would get someone in trouble one day! A French man is facing up to two years in the slammer after hacking into President Obama‘s and Britney Spears‘ Twitter accounts. Funny thing is he didn’t even have to post anything to get in trouble with authorities. The man in question called himself Hacker Croll and was able to access Brit and Obama’s Twitters by guessing the security question that pops up when users forget their password. This dude didn’t take the time to hack in so that he can screw around with their tweets, but just wanted to prove how awesome he was at guessing games. While that would have been all well and good (and probably not that big of a deal), this genius decided to take screencaps of his accomplishments and post them all over the Internet. Not a good plan. That’s when authorities learned about Hacker Croll’s penchant for password guessing and worked with French police to apprehend him.

While hacking into the Commander-in-Chief’s Twitter must have been incredibly exciting, posting your accomplishment for all the world to see probably wasn’t the best use of this guy’s time. Next time you have something exciting to tell your friends, you might just want to hollar at them via cell phone.

Via: Perez Hilton

Growing up, I had an uncle, one of like 7 on my mom’s side, whom I was told to avoid.  ”If Uncle Jackson shows up at our door, lock the dead-bolt and come get Mommy or Daddy.”  I always imagined that Uncle Jackson had a car on which one of the quarterpanels was a different color than the rest of the body, and that he paid for any purchase under $10 with expired coupons and coins (“Uncle Jackson doesn’t use the Coinstar because it gives 5% of your change away to charities”).  But what would have happened if Uncle Jackson had married a fantastically rich but reality-handicapped superstarstress?  The answer, of course, is Kevin Federline.  K-Fed was recently sued to the tune of $110,661 by the owners of the last house he rented.

Kevin Federline did not pay the rent, you see (party foul!), and also created a bit of a mess.  Here is the list of home defurbishments listed in the suit, all donated by the Kevin Federline Extreme Home Makeover Experience, plus pictures.

1) Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles…  

- A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island

- Permanent spit marks on exterior paint

- Broken light covers

- Bent light posts

- Broken tiles

- Dead trees and plants due to failure to water

- Drawings all over the walls

- A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners’ permission)

- Broken dishwasher … with broken baskets

- Dismantled smoke detectors

- Front driveway oil-leak damage

- Master bathroom windows tinted (without owners’ permission)

Live every house like it’s an Econolodge, right?  Let’s cross our fingers that the next edition of Monopoly has a Kevin Federline game piece.  There’s a “Get out of rent free!” card, but every time you land on an Arby’s, you lose a turn and have to pay $117.49.

A rare portrait of a man in full.  One sees the specter of Federline in each of these, mornings spent drinking Coors and leaving unscrubbed frying pans on the stove, afternoons whiled away stubbing out Lucky Strikes in the herb garden while racing his RC boat around the pool.

Source, plus the rest of the pics, at TMZ.

The striptease music video is something of a rite for American lady popstars, the point at which the singer decides it’s time, career-wise, to say look, I’m Sexual!  Though, in fact, everyone else was having these thoughts for years.  Britney‘s done it, Madonna‘s done it, Xtina was basically orbiting a stripper pole from 2002 to 2005.  And now, a little belatedly, Shakira‘s doing one.

It’s for the new single “She Wolf.”  Says the director, “Shakira is getting in touch with her inner She Wolf which is a kind of predatory sensuality.”  Though she’s in a cage, which is great for the whole stripper thing, but kind of deflates the predator metaphor, you know?  Behind-the-scenes footage and a clip from the new vid, ATJ.  

The director is funny too.  He looks just like a really fabulous Luis Guzman.

Also, fact: “Hips Don’t Lie” is the most successful single in the world on the charts so far this century.

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Source: The Sun.

Ahh, the Britney Spears everyone knows and wants to love.  However, she might not be the same ol’ Brit Brit but she still does the trick for lots of cronies in Russia that are trying to learn to speak English.  Awesomely, using the lyrics of her songs the best they will know about English is the term, “Baby, one more time.”  So if they every decide to visit the Mustang Ranch–they’re set.

Check out the video after the jump>>>

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sad lonely Green Lantern is the one superhero left not to have his own movie.  But he may have the best movie of all.  Because while other heroes got Tobey Maguire, Robert Downey, Jr., Christian Bale, and whoever was in Superman – all fine actors – Green Lantern may be none other than Justin Timberlake.  Casting is for the movie is going down as we speak, so to speak.

This week, the race narrowed to Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and Justin Timberlake. The clock is ticking on the decision as the holding deal the studio had on the actors expired Monday, meaning the three are now free to accept other offers.

Bradley Cooper was the Hangover guy and Ryan Reynolds was in that one movie, but neither of them has wooed Britney Spears using only a penis and a gift box.  More details…  

The studio ordered up two rounds of screen tests with Cooper, Reynolds and Timberlake. Other actors in the early mix included Michael Fassbender, Henry Cavill and Jared Leto.

Apparently, De Line, Campbell and the studio each had a different favorite among the three finalists, making it difficult to come to a consensus.

Another issue impacting the casting process is the rising budget. “Lantern” is a full-blown space epic that is expected to cost between $150 million and $200 million, if not more. Warners would like to have the production costs at a reasonable level before proceeding.

The studio has scheduled the movie for a December 2010 opening.

A $200 million space superhero special effects gangbang, and they think they’ll get it in theaters by December of next year when they haven’t even cast the lead yet?  Are you serious?  I don’t know anything about making movies, except that that’s ridiculous.

Justin Timberlake, though.  I hope that guy’s in the movie.

Source: THR.

Britney Spears is a cultural ambassador no doubt, like it or not.  So it only makes sense that in Russia, “Mother Britni” is the patron saint of English as a second language.  Witness this ad for Ling-Way Language Center, in which a table of ancient Russian babushkas join in a chorus of “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” as imagined by the Macbeth witches.

With a 90-year-old Justin Timberlake on the accordian.  Excellent video, aTj:  

Until now, no one had managed to sing it as drunk as Britney could.  Because in Soviet Russia… baby hits YOU one more time!!!

Yeah, sure, why not?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Source: Copyranter.