I guess, you guess, we all guess cause that’s the quest.  Whoa, that might seriously be the lamest thing I have ever written.  Luckily, I am not ashamed to have the same sort of rhyme meter as an 8-year-old.  Lots of 8-year-olds are pretty savvy these days with the internet and everything.  So there.  Anyways, let’s get to the blind items:

There’s a tape floating around the black market in WeHo. It features a current tween favorite. Those who have seen it say that it’s much more disgusting than the Paris Hilton tape. This one involves more than two people, same-sex activity among both girls and boys, and our star in every position possible. Did I mention our star is believed to have been somewhere between thirteen and seventeen when it was filmed?

Anyone wanna take a wild guess that it’s Zac Efron.  He sounds like the sort of fairy that would attend a free for all orgy between the ages of 13 and 17.

For the rest, check after the jump and leave your guesses in the comments>>>

This rockin’ young couple’s marriage is in big trouble but not for the obvious reasons. The cute wife has been seen out and about with a Hollywood hipster and her husband is looking to beat the guy up. Actually the hipster is NOT fooling around with the wife – he’s just providing drugs and fun. In reality the wife is secretly cheating with someone else- specifically her lookalike female assistant! She recently decided she’s bisexual.

Oh man, this one is like a no brainer.  That’s Avril Lavigne.  Man, that chick has got total coke bloat these days.  It’s a complete tragedy.  I give her a year before she turns into Kirsty Alley, no joke.

She has finally pulled the chip out of her head and is shedding her controlling hubby! And, boy, is he mad! Her attorneys are working on a “Dissolution of Contract,” not a “Dissolution of Marriage” – yet. That’s the next step. She will be asking for sole custody of the kid/s. She is not currently pregnant.

Her attorneys – especially one who worked with her predecessor -  have been able to work around most of the restrictions in her original business agreement with her husband. She did not fulfill the terms of the contract that would maximize her payout, but she will receive a sizeable chunk of change to keep quiet about his personal life and his special relationship with another high-profile man.

You will still see them together, albeit much less frequently, and they will continue to be very civil towards each other. They will attend events and will travel as a family when one goes to work. They will both have smiles plastered on their faces, but you will know that hers is really just a smirk, and he is absolutely seething inside over having lost control of the situation.

In the past few weeks, she has left two events separately from her husband because she was so annoyed with his behavior. Each time, she met up with her ex for several hours. While she is spending time with her ex, we do not know if they are romantically involved again.

Um, color me stupid if that isn’t Katie Holmes.  I can’t even begin to think of anyone else that perfectly fits that description.  And that other high-profile man, it’s got to be Will Smith.  Take about a gay sandwich.  Oh man.

Source: BlindGossip.com

No, this is not a tranny high on crack at your local red light district. This disaster is Avril Lavigne at Johnny Depp’s The Viper Room in West Hollywood Monday doing a photoshoot for her new juniors clothing line called Abbey Dawn. 

Avril makes me want to punch babies, that’s how angry she makes me. Who does she think she is, Betsey Johnson? As if! This clothing line of hers wouldn’t even sell at Hot Topic, that’s how crappy it is. How could the manager of The Viper Room allow her to shoot there? She’s the antithesis of everything that place stands for. Hopefully someone slipped her an enema midway through the shoot. (Yes, that’s how much I loathe this chick.)

Maxim Magazine has released the 2008 “Hot 100,” of which I’m pretty certain was compiled by one of Pete Doherty‘s crackpipe kittens.

Here’s the top 10:

1. Marisa Miller

2. Scarlett Johansson

3. Jessica Biel

4. Eva Longoria

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar

6. Elisha Cuthbert

7. Eva Mendes

8. Christina Aguilera

9. Lindsay Lohan

10. Ashley Tisdale

WTF is up with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashley Tisdale?! For realz. My vagina wouldn’t kiss their lips unless money was involved. Big money.

Did I mention that both Britney Spears (#19), Avril Lavigne (#24), and Kat Von D (#62) beat out Mila Kunis (#81) and Olivia Munn (#99)?!?!?!?!?

Do you hear that? It’s my vagina crying its eyes out.

Check out the Marisa Miller gallery here.

More photos after the jump!

Avril Lavigne and husband Derek Whibley were recently photographed being served by a uniformed butler while picnicking in Italy.

Seriously, these yuppie tool-bags hired a f— butler. Ugh.  I wish I had a penis so I could piss all over the two of them.

In other news, Derek massaged Avril’s breasts during their picnic.  He was probably checking to see if she got those at Hot Topic, too.

More photos after the jump!

For some ungodly reason Maxim Magazine has named Avril Lavigne their March cover girl.  How this faux punk c^nt is still around is beyond me.  She’s not hot, and she can’t sing.

As a matter of fact I heard my little brother listening to her song “Girlfriend” and I immediately burnt him some Dead Kennedy’s and The Clash. You know, real punk.   I then handed him a gun and had him shoot the television.

But if skinny talentless skanks are your type, head on over to Maxim Online and check out her other pics.

Avril Lavigne has never been out to catch my attention on account of her being a ginormous tampon, but after these photographs of her rubbing her titties all over her female friend while in Miami have inspired me to give her a second chance.

More photos after the jump!