A few links among friends.

Salma’s steamy honeymoon. (Lossip)

Hardcore Jewish girls: the rap. (Jewssip)

Top five most expensive spirits in the world. (Banned in Hollywood)

MLB catch of the year? (On 205th)

Danica Patrick in Shape magazine (Cameltap)

8 great moments in cheerleader tryout fails. (Busted Coverage)

How to handle her raise. (Askmen.com)

6 things that suck about the new Star Trek movie. (Coed Magazine)

Lindsay Lohan might be pregnant. (Anything Hollywood)

Caught on tape: history’s greatest headbutts. (Complex)

Ashley Tisdale – It’s All Right, it’s OK Promoshoot. (Usemycomputer)

Yes, I just said that Ashley Tisdale has a terrible case of monster face.  In case you’re wondering what monster face is, it’s what happens to people like Ashley Tisdale when they get a terrible nose job and look non-human for the duration of their life.  Mark my word, she will look just like Courtney Love in 10 years.

Not to mention, she’s on the cover of Shape Magazine, but you can tell the photos are totally photo shopped, so you know in reality she actually looks like a dumpy frumpy turd.  Good going editors at Shape, your cover girl is a fraud and looks  nonhuman due to all the air brushing and touching up.

For more proof, check out the rest of Ashley’s photos after the jump

The editors and marketing geniuses over at Shape Magazine ought to rethink their cover girls a little more. Seen here wearing a yellow bikini in the January 2009 issue of the healthy and fitness publication is Ashley Tisdale, known for her role in the hit Disney musical brand “High School Musical.”

Honestly, nothing against Ashley, but I don’t know any man who wishes to be with her, nor any chick who wishes to look like her. When I’m drunk at a bar with my friends trading back and forth what female celebrity I’d most like to look like, the name Ashley Tisdale does not pop into mind. That being said, she’s got a nice body, but it’s not enough to make me want to buy the magazine. Sorry girl.

What do you guys think of Ashley?

Check out pics Ashley Tisdale with hooker makeup on while walking alongside her boyfriend at JFK Airport in New York City earlier this week>>>

Disney stars Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale dressed in their grandmas’ finest at yesterday’s photo call for “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” in London, England.

These women do not deserve to be on any list naming Hollywood’s hottest women.  Vanessa should be hot, but just somehow isn’t.  Maybe it’s cause we know she’s sucking the cream out of a twinky.  That certainly changes the mental picture.

Ashley is even worse.  That lame mischievous smile of hers makes me want to slap her in the mouth with a dirty dildo. That’ll teach her!  Either your innately sexy or your not. You can’t make that sh!t up!

Ashley Tisdale‘s campt is denying reports the High School Musical star has been diagnosed as HIV positive.

Her rep told Us Magazine, “The story is completely untrue.”

Last week a fake report said the 22-year-old actress had contracted the human immunodeficiency virus from her rhinoplasty surgery done last year.

The fake report was said a statement released by a spokesman for Cedars-Sinai Hospital.   The report read, ‘Ashley and her family are trying to come to terms with this horrible development. They only ask that you pray for Ashley’s health and to please respect their privacy as the family decides on the next course of action.’”

Damn! Sounds like Ashley let some chick’s man do her in the ass and now the broad is out for revenge!  I mean, c’mon!  Who the hell starts a rumor saying a chick has HIV. LOW BLOW!

Cedars-Sinai spokesperson clarified the rumors saying, “We did not release any statement regarding Ashley Tisdale.”

See, this is what happens when you try and revive an era!

Ashley Tisdale is releasing an album of shitty oversynthesized songs from the ’80s.  Not just any songs, but ’80s staples like Pat Benatar‘s “Shadows of the Night,” Whitney Houston‘s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” and Rick Astley‘s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

So long as she doesn’t f^ck up any Bananarama tracks we’ll be cool.  But if she so much as sings one lyric from “Love in the First Degree” I just might have to find her and beat her to death with my dildo.

Experience the horror for yourself below.

Whitney Houston‘s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”

More massacring of ’80s covers after the jump!

Rick Astley‘s “Never Gonna Give You Up”

Pat Benatar‘s “Shadows of the Night”

Maxim Magazine has released the 2008 “Hot 100,” of which I’m pretty certain was compiled by one of Pete Doherty‘s crackpipe kittens.

Here’s the top 10:

1. Marisa Miller

2. Scarlett Johansson

3. Jessica Biel

4. Eva Longoria

5. Sarah Michelle Gellar

6. Elisha Cuthbert

7. Eva Mendes

8. Christina Aguilera

9. Lindsay Lohan

10. Ashley Tisdale

WTF is up with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashley Tisdale?! For realz. My vagina wouldn’t kiss their lips unless money was involved. Big money.

Did I mention that both Britney Spears (#19), Avril Lavigne (#24), and Kat Von D (#62) beat out Mila Kunis (#81) and Olivia Munn (#99)?!?!?!?!?

Do you hear that? It’s my vagina crying its eyes out.

Check out the Marisa Miller gallery here.

More photos after the jump!

“High School Musical” star Ashley Tisdale may look like she’s 16-years-old, but she is in fact 22. Crazy, huh? I feel like she should still be in high school, drawing on notebooks and chasing after a team captain. The petite actress made an appearance at FUSE‘s “The Sauce” yesterday looking as sweet and innocent as ever. Hopefully MAXIM or some other mag will be able to grab a hold of her soon and show us what this young tart has to offer us. Until then, we’ll always have shots of her in a bikini. Hey man, beggars can’t be choosers.

Photos of Ashley in a bikini after the jump!