In a new book, Lance (I feel the editors dropped the ball in not titling it Lance!), Lance Armstrong reveals that he dumped Sheryl Crow in 2005 because she wanted to settle down and make babies and live a quiet life and he was like, I don’t know if you know this but I’m Lance Armstrong and that is not what Lance Armstrong is about. 

“She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn’t want that, but I didn’t want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I’d just had kids,” Armstrong, 37, reveals. “Yet we’re up against her biological clock — that pressure is what cracked it.”

Women and their clocks!

In 2007, Sheryl Crow had to adopt a child because her clock ran out thanks to Lance Armstrong.  Armstrong, who has the clocks of ten lesser men, went on to date Ashley Olsen, who is less than half the age of rusty old clockless Sheryl Crow.  And now Lance Armstrong is giving his super clockful DNA to another woman.

Last December, he announced that his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, is pregnant. Their baby was conceived naturally, defying doctors’ concerns that Armstrong’s bout with testicular cancer had rendered him sterile. The baby is due next month.

Lance Armstrong sterile?  You might as well call John F. Kennedy sterile.  You might as well call Seal sterile.

Source: Page Six.

A real woman like Sophia Lauren would have no problem executing this look, but Ashley Olsen? Even my dog wouldn’t claim that with his piss!

Here’s “fashion icon” Ashley Olsen ruining a perfectly good outfit with her fugly ass face at the 2008 CFDA Fashion Awards held at The New York Public Library yesterday.

Someone please explain to me, how the f^ck are these two bitches style icons?!

They look like they just did the Walk of Shame following a night packed with sweaty balls rubbed in their faces. face

Here are fugerrific fashion icons Ashley Olsen and Mary-Kate Olsen at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala “Superheroes: Fashion And Fantasy” in New York City yesterday.

More photos after the jump!

This is best story I’ve read so far this morning! Animal-loving extremists at PETA have set their target on the Olsen twins, nicknamed “The Trollsen Twins” after the sisters have “ignored pleas to stop wearing fur and using it in their fashion collection.”

Via Page Six:

The group is unveiling a campaign against the “fur fiends” – Mary-Kate (“Hairy Kate,” above) and Ashley (“Trashley“) – with a tag line: “Fur Is Worn by Beautiful Animals and Ugly People.” The Trollsen Twins poster will be unveiled today at their Walk of Fame star in LA.

Ahaha! SMH. Mainly I just love their nicknames. I can just see a member of PETA throwing paint on them while they’re wearing fur and those girls just going ape crazy and clawing the member’s eyes out.

Personally I don’t understand why everyone hates these girls. I mean, they’re boring, but that’s about it. Why would anyone want to talk about boring people, famous or not?

More photos after the jump!