Daily Fug: Jessica Simpson Is…A Mess

A lot of people have been giving Jessica Simpson a lot of problems for putting on weight.  I don’t really think she looks terrible for putting on a bit of chubs.  However, I think the way she’s dressing makes her look like a stupid moron.  Who in their right mind tries to wear leather pants unless they’re Jim Morrison?  Ugh.  I think she’s have less problems if she stopped dressing like a heroin addict idiot and started dressing like a lady.

If you wanna check out the rest of Jessica’s leather & lace photos, click on them after the jump>>>

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Jessica Simpson Gained Weight (Could Tony Romo's protein shots be responsible?)

Oh, my! Looks like Jessica Simpson had been guzzling Tony Romo‘s milk straight from his urethral opening carton. She must have borrowed those jeans from Michael Lohan. Screw cameltoe– that’s a camelhoof!

The 28-year-old retired pop singer debuted a fuller, curvier figure while at a country music concert in Pembroke Pines, Florida this weekend where she sang tunes from her debut country album, “Do You Know.”

How much calcium she’s getting from the dude is a mystery, but I’m pretty sure she’s doing a-okay in the protein department. If anything, she ought to refrain from drinking his salty milkshake for a bit. Who knows what his sodium gel might clog. Twenty-eight is too young to have a heart attack!

What do you think of Jessica’s curvier figure?

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Check out the rest of the pics in 3…2…1…

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Top 25 F-Listed Snatchtastic Galleries of 2008

With the year quickly coming to a close, what better way to recap the year then by looking back at the F-Listed Galleries that held your attention year-round.

That’s right, boys and girls, here you have it– the Top 25 Galleries of 2008. Methinks your nether regions will be pleased. Here’s hoping anyway!

Enjoy!

Check out the Top 25 Galleries of 2008 in 3…2…1…

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Jessica Simpson is Fancy

I think when I called Jessica Simpson fancy, I meant fat.  I know, I know everyone is going to tell me that she’s a regular person at a regular size, but you know what, if you want to be famous and stay famous you have to give up the joy of living life like a human being and eating regular meals.

Anyways, here is this total tub of lard trying to force people into thinking her stupid perfume is better than any of the other countless amounts of stupid perfumes backed by actors and musicians.

The one plus is that Jessica’s teets get bigger when she does, although her stupid father keeps her covering them up.

Check after the jump to try and get a glimpse of the glory that is Jessica’s breasts…

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Jessica Simpson Had One Too Many Martinis

Jessica Simpson‘s obnoxious dumb blonde ass was kicked to the curb by the people at the Marc Jacobs Fashion Show after party earlier this month for being a drunk.

“Jessica was stumbling around the party slurring her words and barely able to stand,” says a Star Magazine insider, who claims Jessica was asked to leave the event just before dinner.

“It was embarrassing! In New York, it doesn’t matter who you are If you’re acting like a fool, no one will stand for it.”

And because none of us where there to witness any of this, I say we just forgive and forget and pretend that microphone is a penis. Then multiple it by five. That’s even hotter!

Below, pics of Jess giving a microphone a handjob while performing at The Pearl at The Palms Resort in Vegas yesterday.

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Jessica Simpson's Ass Can't Catch A Break

I think we can all agree Jessica Simpson hasn’t been very lucky as of last, having recently been heckled on stage, being called a fatty fatty fat fat, and having to go through her boyfriend’s phone to make sure he’s still not lusting after his ex.

Her latest debacle comes just days after reports she bombed during her performance on ABC’s Good Morning America after blaming her suckiness as a singer on not being able to hear the music.

Now here we have a wonderfully clear shot of Jessica’s exposed ass on stage after a gust of wind seemingly raised her skirt.  Nor bad, nor good, the shot can best be described as awkward.

Bonus cleavage shots below.

NSFW Close-up of her ass under the cut!

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Carrie Underwood Calls Jess a Fatty Fatty Fat Fat

During a recent OK! Magazine interview with Jessica Simpson, the singer proclaimed Tony Romo to be “the love of [her] life.” But that’s not the interesting part.

Meanwhile, Carrie Underwood isn’t too impressed by the Simpson’s claims of love and devotion regarding Tony, Underwood’s ex.

“She finds Jessica’s love of putting her life on display pretty desperate,” a pal of the “Before He Cheats” singer tells OK!. “She laughed at the People cover, because it’s the same one Jess did about John Mayer — same smile, same look, except she’s a little fatter.”

Cheese and rice! Me-ow.

Don’t let Carrie Underwood‘s sweet demeanor and love-struck country ballads fool you. The women is a sour chick who continues to stir up controversy with Jessica Simpson on account of the fact that her former flame doesn’t want to eat out her fish taco anymore. Two words: Sore loser!

Below photos of Jess on the way to the airport.  Check out her gallery of extensive pics here!

Bonus gallery of Jessica from her “skinny” days right this way….

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Jessica Simpson is a Gassy Gal, Talks Too Much

Jessica Simpson cannot keep her trap shut.  Normally this good if it means head morning, noon and night, but when it means talking, talking, talking between every song while performing in concert, it can get rather annoying.

At one point during her Wednesday concert at the Avalon Ballroom in Niagra Falls, the busty blonde confessed to the crowd “I do pass gas a lot.” She added, “I guarantee it smells like roses.”

That’s great and all, but I bet if I were to ask her if her fish taco smells like roses she’d say that was a private matter and call me a classless bitch.  Don’t want to answer such questions? Don’t dish out the unwanted dirt!

Below, pics of her performing at multiple venues earlier this week.

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Jessica Simpson's Latest Role: Private Investigator

Carrie Underwood recently confessed to Allure Magazine that ex-boyfriend Tony Romo still calls her from time to time.  Of him she said, “the phone will ring and it’ll be [Romo], and I’ll maybe not answer.”

But Jessica Simpson wants all the world to know that little Miss Underwood is just talking trash.  Jess told a Nashville radio station, that the claim is “definitely” false and that she knows as such because “[she] looked at his call log.” She went on to say, “Tony and I both laughed at that.  We got a chuckle out of it.”

Atta girl, Jess!! Announce to the entire world that your insecure in your relationship.  You sure showed her!

Please, you and I both know there was no chuckling involved. Homegirl ripped through that front door with fire in her eyes and demanded an explanation or she’d make him look like a Ken doll and cut his QB pipi off with a nail file.

Above, Jess’ Texas beer ad campaign. Below, her chillin’ at the pool in Miami this week.

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Jessica Simpson Goes Country For Elle Magazine

Looks like Papa Joe told the people over at Elle Magazine that his daughter Jessica Simpson could grace their pages under the condition that they play up this whole C^NTry look she’s going for.

And so here is Jessica all decked out with plaid, cowboy hats and boots for the magazine’s Sept. issue.

In accordance with his train of thought I suppose I’m a hooker on account of my extensive collection of FMPs and blowjobs given behind dark alleys.  Where did my parents go wrong?

More of Hollyweird’s newest cowgirl after the jump…

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