Jessica Alba's Mom is Wynonna Judd!

If you ever want to know what your lady friend will look like when she grows older, they say all one has to do is look at her mother and the future will be revealed.

Well, if such is the case, then Jessica Alba‘s future looks bleak. Her mom looks like a crossbreed between Wynonna Judd, Kathy Griffin, and a fat lobster.

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Top 25 F-Listed Snatchtastic Galleries of 2008

With the year quickly coming to a close, what better way to recap the year then by looking back at the F-Listed Galleries that held your attention year-round.

That’s right, boys and girls, here you have it– the Top 25 Galleries of 2008. Methinks your nether regions will be pleased. Here’s hoping anyway!

Enjoy!

Check out the Top 25 Galleries of 2008 in 3…2…1…

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Jessica Alba Is One Hot Momma

Jessica Alba might be a sordid, frigid bitch that is afraid to be Latin, but I would still have sexy times with her.

Jessica highlights the fact that being terribly good looking gives you a pass on pretty much everything, including being an asshole.

Here’s Jessica’s photo shoot in Zoink Magazine.

More photos of Jessica in 3…2…1

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A Sexy Jessica Alba for the '09 Campari Calendar

We really ought to pull our pennies together and send the people at Campari a fruit basket, or chest filled with adult toys, or something.  After all, they’ve given us more than just alcohol, they’ve also photographed some of the world’s finest women in an attempt to sell us their Italian liqueur.

Two years ago it was Salma Hayek‘s Mexican rack up close and personal, then last year they blesses us with Eva Mendes‘ and her seductive stare, and now this year it’s Jessica Alba showing some cleavage and holding the bottle suggestively.

For someone who wants to be taken seriously as an actress, Jessica certainly knows how to keep her in our minds when off the silver screen.  They way she just lays there and smiles while a group of undoubtedly sexually hungry men surround her, I half expect the orgy to breakout any minute now.  Wouldn’t that be a sight?

More of Alba’s Campari calendar this way>>>

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Which Ass Would You Tap?

I know it’s Friday and you’re brains are two beers away from being completely retarded, but before you rush over to your version of Cheers, I have a very very important question for you.

Let’s say you and your buddy go to said bar and like out of a movie you had both Padma Lakshmi and Jessica Alba standing right before you, their eyes hungry for a man’s a seed.  Which one would you claims dibs on?

This is a hard one.  Tricky, tricky.

Here are the beautiful brunettes keeping their breatesses to themselves while keeping things sexy while at the Keep A Child Alive’s 5th annual Black Ball held in New York City yesterday.

[polldaddy poll=1106934]

More pics over yonder!>>>>>

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Jessica Alba is Stoned Off Her Ass

Holy cowballs! Looks like Jessica Alba had herself some pretty sweet mommy time while away from the nest at a bi-partisan Election Night after party Tuesday.

At first I was going to comment on just how stoned James Franco was, but then I caught wind of Jessica and all I could do was bust out laughing.  It seems so out of character, which might be for the best.  Maybe Jessica pulls the tampon out of her ass and chills out for a bit when she’s high. What, too much?

Her laugh is so genuine in these pics you’d think she’s almost human!  He’s probably ragging on her about being high and getting her all paranoid and sh!t.  Now compare all this laughter to Amy Crackhouse over here.  Someone kindly explain to me, why would anyone do anything but the green?

And in the spirit of things I added some nifty Kid Koala videos after the jump. Why? ‘Cause he’s a bad ass.

Kid Koala just ’cause in 3…2…1…

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Write Your Own Fantasy Caption Contest!

Two winner’s will be chosen for this week’s Write Your Own Fantasy Caption Contest! for the above photo of Jessica Alba on the set of “An Invisible Sign of My Own” filming in New York City earlier this week.

Each winner will receive a copy of sex superstar Jesse Jane’s latest skin flick “Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge,” the most expensive adult movie ever made, with a budget of over $1 million.

A play off of Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean,” this steamy flick stars adult superstars Jesse Jane, Belladonna, Sasha Grey, and Jenna Haze.

You’d be a fool to pass on this opportunity. Do you how happy your d!ck would be? How could you deprive yourself of sticky and sweet girl-on-girl pirate action?

Play now!  Enter a caption in the comment section below!

Read our exclusive Q&A with Jesse Jane here..

SplashNews

*Thanks to Digital Playground and Pin-Up Promotion for collaborating with F-Listed for this contest giveaway!

Can It Be? Jessica Alba….Happy?

Maybe it’s the ‘shrooms still making its way through my system, but is this gruñona Jessica Alba that I see smiling ear to ear?!  Someone call the Guiness Book of World Records, this madness needs to be documented in time!

From the looks of it things are going supremely well over at the Alba-Warren house.  Although having a whoopi cushion around you 24/7 does have its benefits. (Have you heard how adorable baby farts sound?)

Guess it was worth poking holes in that latex prison and letting the boys free to swim upstream after all.  Even if it means having a side of Valtrex with your bacon and eggs in the morning.

Here is the nuclear family out and about in New York City earlier this weekend.  I’ve also thrown some shots of her in her Halloween costume, except I have no idea who she’s supposed to be.

Which Ass Would You Tap?

With their men in tow and their babies safe asleep at home, Hollywood MILFs Jessica Alba and Halle Berry stepped out on the town for two separate celebrity events in Los Angeles yesterday, the two of them glowing the entire time.

When you have good looks, money and a hot beau around your arms, what’s there not to smile about? Actually, Gabriel Aubry is the only one that makes me panties wet. Cash Warren is one beard I wouldn’t like to find between my legs.  That tool is as arousing as a used condom.

Jessica Alba's Post-Baby Beach Body At Its Sexiest!

Proving she might not be human after all, Jessica Alba was photographed vacationing in Cabo San Lucas recently where the new mom’s body showed no signs of ever being knocked-up. It’s been four months since she gave birth to her daughter and already she could top mens magazine’s hot lists.

On a sidenote, why does it feel like I’m searching for Big Foot every time a photo surfaces of Jessica Alba at the beach?  It’s as though she’s on a private beach and the paparazzi is flying overhead on a makeshift seagull hanglider.  (See what I mean, here.)

What do you think of her post-baby bikini body?

More of your dream girl over here…

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