Why the F*ck Do You Have a Kid?

While the site is new, the concept of unfit parents is timeless. Pope Benedict XVI, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), please, please check out this site.  I know that the Bible literally prohibits the use of a latex XL-size penis sheath during intercourse, but Thou Shalt Not Put Thy Baby in Thy Motorcycle Trunk is like Ten Commandments 101.

Earlier I told you about how Lindsay‘s 14-year-old sister Ali Lohan got herself a new pair of DSLs.

And now I get to share with you that Britney‘s knocked-up 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears is engaged to her baby’s daddy, 18-year-old sap Casey Aldridge.

Whatever happened to the good ol’ days where you’d call your crush and hang up on him, your girlfriends wildly giggling in the background, cookies and milk in hand?

I say this, but I used to pole-dance for passing cars on my friend‘s front balcony when I was a little girl. And I mean, third grade little. I’m so serious, too. *Sigh* I was a slut even in my youth.

More photos after the jump!

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With Lynne Spears in Los Angeles trying to take care Britney‘s crazy ass, pregnant teen Jamie Lynn Spears has been boozing it up and partying back in Kentwood, La., where the 5-month pregnant teen is said to have thrown a Super Bowl party at her mom’s Kentwood pad, Serenity.

Shortly after 2:00 p.m. on Feb. 3, a Jeep SUV with Ole Miss University and Delta Delta Delta sorority decals on the back window pulled up to Serenity’s gates and five college age women got out.

“They were all laughing. They looked really happy and excited to be at the house, like they hadn’t seen Jamie Lynn in a while,” says a witness.

There’s reason to believe her and Casey Aldridge, the baby’s alleged father, and Jamie Lynn purchased alcohol for the party since they drove to the Wal-Mart that sells beer on Sundays just 35 minutes away.

You gotta hand it to Jamie Lynn, the girl is dedicated. Dedicated to having a retarded child, that is. SMH. Her baby has a better chance leading a healthier life being raised by Wolf Boy.

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Reports have surfaced which claim Jamie-Lynn Spears has been out partying to all kinds of crazy hours, and may still drink and smoke.

“She’s been going out with her friends recently and staying out late,” L&S’s insider said of the approximately 4 ½-month pregnant teen. “Her mom and dad are both worried that Jamie’s late-night partying isn’t good for her — or her child.”

That’s easy. Put a damn dog shock collar on the brat and show her who is boss. That should put her in her place real fast.

“Juno” may have been just another cute dramedy for you and I, but for Jamie Lynn Spears it must have spoken volumes.

So much so that rumor now has it the 16-year-old sister of Britney Spears will give up her baby so that she may concentrate on her career. So who is the mother of Jamie’s unborn child?

The teen sister of pop wreck Britney Spears will hand over the baby to her mum Lynne Spears as soon as it is born so she can concentrate on her career. Lynne will then raise the child at the family’s home in rural Kentwood, Louisiana, away from Hollywood. Jamie Lynn, just 16, made the heartbreaking decision after several long heart to heart talks with her mum.

An insider told US magazine Star: “After several weeks of personal soul searching and talks and discussions with her mum Jamie Lynn reluctantly agreed that giving up the baby is the right thing to do. Lynne says Jamie doesn’t understand the life long consequences of having a baby. She still wants her daughter to be able to be a teenager, go to parties, hang out with friends and have a career. So she’ll take the front seat of caring for the baby and take the pressure off her daughter.”

The insider added: “She wants Jamie Lynn to continue her show business career after the baby is born and Jamie Lynn also realizes she wants to enjoy her teenage years without the responsibilities of caring for a baby. Lynne is convinced that having a baby on her hip will not help Jamie Lynn’s future in the business and she’s expecting her daughter to pick up where she left off as soon as the baby is born.”

According to the source, Jamie Lynn’s managers also agree and have advised Lynne that the best thing to do is have Jamie photographed with the baby as soon as it is born, sell the pictures and then take over raising her own grandchild.

Um, I don’t think it is as easy as they make it seem. You don’t just forget that you had a child and go to parties, hang out with friends and have a career. Oh, wait, apparently you can.

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Things are heating up with Jamie Lynn Spears‘s pregnancy.

The 17-year-old and alleged father of the baby, Casey Aldridge, has requested that Jamie undergo a paternity after rumors surfaced she was actually impregnated by a tv exec over over at the Disney Channel.

Via In Touch Weekly:

“He wants a paternity test,” Britney told the Spears family friend, according to In Touch Weekly. “Casey doesn’t want to be with her until he’s sure that he’s the father.”

Damn, shit’s really gonna hit the fan now. This reads like an episode of ‘Law and Order: SVU’.

Meanwhile, sister Britney Spears and pap Adnan Ghalib are in Mexico, most likely having sex up against some hotel wall.

While at the hotel, Spears stopped in a gift shop and purchased an imitation Gucci bag and another bag while Ghalib bought a rosary, spending a total of $60, El Vigia reports.

“She looked serious and haggard,” a sales clerk told the paper in Spanish. “She didn’t have makeup.” on.”

Of course she looked haggard. As if she were to bathe after sex. She probably leaves the jizz to dry on her back so she can smell of f^ck all day.

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Friends and family of the Spears’ family suspect Casey Aldridge is not the daddy of Jamie Lynn‘s baby, instead an exec over at the teen Disney Nickelodeon program Zoey 101.

“Casey is being paid off to be the family’s fall guy while the real father remains unidentified,” Star magazine insists.

They say the real reason is that an older man could be charged with statutory rape if revealed to be the father of an under-aged girl’s baby.

“The man many suspect is the father, however, would face charges and probably prison time if he were to come forward and admit he had sex with her,” Star magazine states.

The magazine quotes “two separate Spears family insiders” who believe the father is someone who works on Jamie Lynn’s kids’ show. “Jamie Lynn has been working on Zoey since she was 13,” one of the sources said. “In Hollywood, little girls grow up fast, and she is no exception.

First Lil’ Romeo, now some middle-aged tv exec? This is like an episode of Days of Our Lives! I think. I don’t actually watch the crap.

Personally, I got my bet on K-Fed. Or her dad. It’s totally her own dad. That’s white trash for ya.

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In White Trash News: Britney Spears couldn’t take all the attention her sister is receiving as of lately, so she wore this ridiculous Eskimo hoodie when shopping for onesies yesterday, presumably for a knocked-up Jamie Lynn.

Initially, it’s reported, Brit wished to practice some new dance moves but canceled because the dance studio was mobbed by the paps.

“She wanted to try out a new dance routine,” says a source. But, in the wake of her 16-year-old sister’s surprise pregnancy announcement, the studio was swarmed by hoards of photographers.

“Britney said that she doesn’t want to deal with the media because she is still shocked [about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy news],” adds the source. “She feels that she needs peace and quiet.”

And so to avoid the media frenzy that is the L.A. paparazzi, she opted to shop and work on her future quadruple bypass by stuffing her face at Carl Jr.’s.

Who is Jamie Lynn think she is anyway? She’ll show her. By weekend’s end she’ll have announced she’s got Sam Lufti’s seed inside her.

More photos after the jump!

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Well, so much for happily ever after. Life&Style reports Jamie Lynn Spears‘ baby’s daddy is no longer in the picture.

“Jamie Lynn and Casey are NOT together. They’ve broken up numerous times, but he was her first and she kept taking him back,” says the insider.

“They’re not dating now. He’s really got nothing to offer this baby. He’s a kid himself. They have no plans to get married.”

“At this point, Jamie Lynn has asked her mom — and not Casey — to be in the delivery room with her.”

Now isn’t that a shocker.

I bet the kid didn’t even know she was pregnant until this week. That’s undoubtedly why he broke up with her. Boning a pregnant 16-year-old is not hot.

God, it’s bad enough I have to hear about Britney every second of the day, now I have to read about her sister, too.

Tell me, are you sick of this story yet?

More photos after the jump!

Britney Spears‘s 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant, reports OK! magazine.

The Zoey 101 actress is 12 weeks pregnant with longtime and live-in boyfriend, 19-year-old Casey Aldridge. The two met at church.

Damn man, I stepped away from the computer at 7:30 and by the time I get back three hours later I learn that Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Jesus Christ. All the money in the world couldn’t buy this family class.

“It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected,” Jamie Lynn told OK!, according to the Associated Press. “I was in complete and total shock and so was he.”

Spears told the magazine that after confirming the pregnancy with a home test and a subsequent doctor’s visit, she told only one friend – then waited two weeks before telling anybody else, including her parents.

“I needed to work out what I would do for myself before I let anyone’s opinion affect my decision,” she told the magazine. “Then I told my parents and my friends. I was scared, but I had to do what was right for me.”

I don’t understand, do girls in Hollywood not know how to take their damn birth control?

…Or how to swallow?!

There’s more drama after the jump!

The Spears Family is So Clueless

Mother Lynne Spears said of her 16-year-old’s pregnancy:

“I didn’t believe it because Jamie Lynn’s always been so conscientious,” her mother, Lynne Spears, told OK!. “She’s never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby.”

Aldridge’s mother, Joyce Aldridge, told TMZ she was “aware of the recent interview regarding her and being pregnant” and that “we are in agreement with everything that was said by Jamie Lynn.”

Nickelodeon Issues a Statement

Nickelodeon, the channel on which Zoey 101 airs on, issued this statement:

“We respect Jamie Lynn’s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynn’s well being.”

Britney Spears Even More Clueless

According to TMZ, Britney Spears didn’t know about her sister’s pregnancy until news broke today. She is said to be “frantic.”

Surely she is “frantic.” Frantic that her little sister is taking the attention from her.