Audrina Patridge

This page contains an archive of all 27 entries posted in the Audrina Patridge category. They are listed from newest to oldest.

October 17, 2008 @ 5:00 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Which Ass Would You Tap?

Earlier this week talentless reality hos Audrina Patridge and Kim Kardashian came out for the Grand Opening of XIV Restaurant in West Hollywood thus raising the question, would your willie rather rub back and forth between fake boobies or a fake booty?

I know it’s a tough one, but if you just take 15 minutes to sit down with your main man between your legs I’m sure the answer will be revealed. It helps if you pet him. They tend to like that. If your hands are too tired, ask for help from one of your fellow female coworkers or classmates. Sometimes two is better then one, especially if it means one hand on your wood and the other massaging your sack.

I’ve added some extra pics of Kim at the 7th Annual “Los Premios MTV Latin America 2008″ Awards in Guadalajara, Mexico yesterday.

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October 13, 2008 @ 4:56 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina Patridge Sideboob Bikini Action in Maxim

Audrina Patridge puts on her bikini once again for the Nov. issue of Maxim Magazine.  What am I saying? She didn’t put on her bikini.  The bikini is this vapid brunette’s uniform, like a damn cartoon always wearing the same exact thing.

It’s amazing, I never thought modeling was hard until I see photoshoots like this one.  That same lifeless expression in every single damn photo.  Clearly Tyra hasn’t taught Audrina how to smile with her eyes.  Although, more than likely the chick just can’t do it physically.  Her brain is too stupid to figure how to be a three-dimensional person with more than just “derrrrrr” as a facial expression.

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October 4, 2008 @ 12:01 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina Patridge Gallery

TV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California IITV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California IIITV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California ITV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California VTV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California VITV Personality Audrina Patridge arrvies at the Kenneth Cole Celebrates The Awearness Fund event held at the Kenneth Cole New York store at the Beverly Centre, on April 3 2008 in Los Angeles California VIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. IVTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. VTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. VITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. VIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. IXTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XIIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XIVTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XVTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XVITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XVIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XVIIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XIXTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXIIPussy Cat Doll Founder Robin Antin and Host for the evening, TV Personality Audrina Patridge in the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. IPussy Cat Doll Founder Robin Antin and Host for the evening, TV Personality Audrina Patridge in the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. IITV Personality Audrina Patridge (R) poses with a Pussycat Doll when she hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. ITV Personality Audrina Patridge (R) poses with a Pussycat Doll when she hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. IITV Personality Audrina Patridge (C) hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada.TV Personality Audrina Patridge (C) hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. VTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXVTV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXVITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXVIITV Personality Audrina Patridge hosts an evening with the Las Vegas Pussycat Dolls at PURE Nightclub on March 28, 2008 in Las Vegas, Nevada. XXVIIIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. IActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. IIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. IIIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. IVActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. VActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. VIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. VIIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2008 held at Smashbox Studios on March 11, 2008 in Culver City, California. VIIIActress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.Actress Audrina Patridge arrives at the US Weekly Hot Hollywood party at Opera on September 26, 2007 in Hollywood, California.

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October 3, 2008 @ 5:38 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

More Gigs for Audrina Patridge and Her Boobage

It’s been recently announced that Audrina Patridge, who reportedly makes a disgusting $700,00 for each season of The Hills, will be co-designing jeans with her favorite denim line, Divine Rights of Denim.

Unlike Lauren’s higher-priced line, Audrina’s denim collaboration will likely be more affordable — Divine Rights of Denim jeans normally start at $58. Audrina’s line and her ads will be coming out in November.

That’s not the only new gig her rack has gotten. The 23-year-old reality TV dummy took off her bikini long enough in Placentia, California yesterday to make an appearance at a gig at an OfficeMax.

Wow, Audrina sure is moving up in the world. A gig at OfficeMax, pretty effing sweet.  What’s next, Taco Bell?

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October 1, 2008 @ 11:44 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina Patridge's Balloons Want To Go To College

HOLY GOATBALLS! Audrina Patridge has decided she wants to quit the entertainment business for a more productive, fulfilling life by attending Yale University!  The Apocalypse is officially upon us.

It would be really fun to have my own TV show,” she tells In Touch.

In fact, the 23-year-old, who’s been sharing The Hills spotlight for the past two seasons, is already entertaining offers.  “She has been in talks with MTV for her own show, but nothing is set in stone just yet,” says an insider.

Besides, the aspiring actress is hoping to move beyond reality — she’s currently building her résumé by filming Sorority Row with Rumer Willis. “I want to focus on acting and reading scripts and playing characters,” she says.

Alright, so I made a bad joke. I know none of you bought that BS. This droopy-eyed, vacant snot wouldn’t dream of doing something that would require her to use something more than just her awkward t!ts to break out of her materialistic life.

Instead she’ll give acting a go, fall flat on her face, bounce back thanks to her balloons for boobs, marry some rich dude, get divorced, marry another rich dude, get divorced, marry some other rich dude, and then find out during her third divorce that she has skin cancer from having spent her entire life in a bikini under the sun.

I’ve added some pics of Audrina in her day-to-day wardrobe below. This chick is like a damn cartoon. Different episode, same outfit.

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September 8, 2008 @ 8:57 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

2008 MTV Video Music Awards Gallery

Rihanna

Bar Rafaeli

Christina Aguilera

Britney Spears

Lindsay Lohan

Katy Perry

Tila Tequila

Audrina Patridge

Pink

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August 19, 2008 @ 3:27 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Which Ass Would You Tap?

Comparing Kate Beckinsale to Audrina Patridge in the “I want to do you” category seems like a crime. It’s like comparing heaven to an STD infested hell, but that’s why we’re having this little experiment in the first place.

Although, it should be noted that Kate’s ass isn’t as smooth as I presumed it would. If this isn’t proof that all girls — skinny, fat, no matter — are susceptible to stretch marks and cottage cheese, then I don’t know what is.

Back to the ‘Which Ass Would You tap?’ question. My interest is in seeing how Audrina measures up to Kate. Methinks whomever selects Audrina also gets a hard-on thinking of putting their penis in a glory hole, but I’m not one to judge.

Mainly because I kind dig penises in my cornhole. Unless you get off on golden showers. Then I’m judging. That’s damn nasty. Especially if you’ve just had asparagus.

Photos are of Kate basking in the Cabo San Lucas sun, and Audrina’s bouncing titties in a Las Vegas hotel pool.

Full set of bikini T&A after the jump!

Click for more!

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August 8, 2008 @ 5:52 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina Patridge Moneymakers Spend Some Cash

Audrina Patridge’s smile says it all: “Suckers. All I have to do is show some cleavage and you guys are eating of my hands.” Pretty much.

Here’s the ho getting more publicity for shopping on Robertson at InterMix yesterday doing absolutely nothing as usual.

Mandatory bikini shots from earlier this month in 3…2…1…

Click for more!

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June 25, 2008 @ 5:18 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina Patridge Gets Rooster Slapped, Shows Us Her Tits

I love women like Audrina Patridge because they think they’re so slick when in all reality they’re at your mercy.  Take the bruise on her face, for example.

She can casually lean over while laughing and show us some cleavage all she wants, but when a dude wants to c()ck slap her face she takes it.

Women like this will never know the definition of love, nor toe-curling orgasms.  While everyone else is unleashing their inner nympho during sex, she’ll still be posing the entire time like the fake that she is.  Half the time girls who try to sell their sex appeal are asexual to begin with.  It’s just a game to them.

Here’s Audrina and her c()ck slapped face shopping along Melrose Avenue yesterday.

SplashNews

More photos after the jump!

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May 20, 2008 @ 8:30 AM / By Melysa F-Listed contributing writer

Audrina is Not an Attention Whore… Just a Whore

Attention whore/shitty actress Audrina Patridge defends herself against nay sayers and truth talkers.

“I am not an attention w—-,” the 23-year-old star of The Hills tells Vegas Magazine, which hits newsstands June 1. “I’m not going to release naked photos of myself just to get attention. I’d rather get different attention and be respected.”

You know what, I can’t even say whether or not she’s a whore because I’m above watching The Hills. There, I said it. I think I’m cooler than The Hills.

On the downside, I really really love Rock of Love. You know, the show overflowing with hookers and porn star wannabes. I cream my panties every time that garbage comes on.

Here’s Audrina surprisingly fully dressed celebrating her 23rd birthday at LAX Nightclub in Las Vegas Saturday.

Source

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