In Golf News: Tiger Woods To Miss British Open

So much for Tiger Woods being ready in time for the British Open.

Woods announced on Tuesday, via his website, that he will not be playing in the 2011 British Open due to his leg injury. At least he didn’t announce it via Twitter!

Details (note, Woods’ own site speaks of him in the third person):

Tiger Woods announced Tuesday that due to injuries to his left leg that have not fully healed, he would miss the 2011 British Open.

“Unfortunately, I’ve been advised that I should not play in the British Open,” Woods said. “As I stated at the AT&T National, I am only going to come back when I’m 100 percent ready. I do not want to risk further injury. That’s different for me, but I’m being smarter this time. I’m very disappointed and want to express my regrets to the British Open fans.”

What a shame. Though it’s probably for the best. Woods currently sits four Major victories away from tying Jack Nicklaus for the all-time lead in Major Championships won. We’ll leave it to the experts to write their monthly “Tiger is no longer Tiger” piece and surmise that he won’t catch Nicklaus in his hunt for all-time-greatness. We happen to disagree, but what do you care?

Highlights of Woods’ masterful -19 win at St. Andrews from 2000, after the jump!

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Soccer Fight: Kuwait Vs. Lebanon. Who You Got? [Video]

And then a friendly soccer match broke out during a fight between the Kuwait and Lebanon mens soccer teams.

This was a friendly soccer match between two teams no one really cares about, which is why we’re writing about it this morning. Nothing says “pay attention to us” like a bench-clearing brawl.

Details:

Kuwait dominated Lebanon in a friendly on Saturday in Beirut, scoring six times. As often happens when a match is particularly frustrating for one side, tempers flared. As does not often happen, tempers flared to the point where the security forces who were forced to separate the two sides actually had to fire gunshots into the air to restore order.

Epic. Check out the fight, after the jump…

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Sarah Underwood Covers The World Naked Bike Ride in Portland [Video]

What a way to start the morning!

The beautiful Sarah Underwood of the G4 Network took the ‘The World Naked Bike Ride’ in Portland, Oregon, and, well, got naked! She and some 10,000 people, to be exact. We can’t say that all 10,000 attendees are worth looking at, but we can vouch for Underwood.

Maybe the best part, aside from the nakedness, is in the beginning of the video when Underwood sprays down her bike seat. Well-done.

The SFW video is after the jump…

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Tatjana Pasalic Named ‘Sexiest Woman of Poker’ [Photos]

It’s official, there is a “sexiest woman of poker” and her name is Tatjana Pasalic.

Ms. Pasalic, who is 25 years old, has been playing poker since the ripe old age of 19, after she had moved from Croatia to Denmark. Not only does she play poker, lads, but she works as a poker reporter and blogger. She’s a busy girl. Unfortunately, we could find no records of her career winnings, but what does that matter anyway. She’s hot.

So with a big old tip of the cap to our friends over at Girlwatcher, we bring you the sexiest woman of poker. Enjoy!

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Paul Beach De-Feets Alan Nash In World Toe Wrestling Championship [Video]

An idiot once told me, “it’s not a sport if the competitors aren’t wearing socks.” I argued that swimming was a sport, and he shot back that it was a competition, not a sport. This led to an argument about sport vs. competition… I’ll spare you the details.

But when it comes to toe wrestling, the socks are off and the competitors are fierce. The question is, though, is toe wrestling a sport? Well, for one, it’s nasty. Whether it’s a sport, I’m not so sure. It seems more like a fetish to me.

More…

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In Future News: Science Plays the Guitar [Video]

It’s official. We no longer need you and your guitar lessons, we now have science.

Leave it to the Japanese for finding out how to get laid in high school without having any discernible talent. They invented the PossessedHand, which can only be described as a device that can “move your fingers into the proper positions to play musical instruments.” Yes, we needed one of those. Because learning to play the guitar the traditional way was just too hard.

How it works, complete with video, after the jump!

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White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen Ejected to the Delight of Geovany Soto [Video]

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is no stranger to concept of getting tossed from a game for arguing with an umpire, and on Monday night he was at it again, getting tossed in the 6th inning of his team’s 6-3 loss to the Cubs.

These angry antics by Guillen are commonplace, but what’s great about this video is the reaction of Chicago Cubs catcher Geovany Soto. He drops a classic “you see that?” face on his teammates. Funny stuff.

Details:

The spark: White Sox shortstop Alexei Ramirez fouled a ball off himself during the sixth inning. Or he thought he did, anyway. The ball was actually ruled fair, and Ramirez was tagged out at the plate. He didn’t like the call. But Guillen really didn’t like the call. He came out to vociferously protest, and was almost immediately ejected. Then…

Well, you know where it went from there. Check out the video after the jump. It’s yet another great example of why we love Ozzie Guillen.

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Dirk Nowitzki Sings ‘We Are The Champions’ [Video]

Dirk Nowitzki can play basketball. Better than almost anyone on this planet. As for his ability to sing on key, well, that’s another story.

Thursday morning the Dallas Mavericks held a championship parade, which is customary for the title holder in any professional sport. What seems to be thematic among NBA championship parades, however, is the awkwardness which often times ensues. Mark Madsen anyone?

In this instance, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban called on Dirk to sing “We Are The Champions” with the fans. Well, that turned a little awkward. Dirk can certainly ball, but he cannot sing. Period.

Video after the jump!

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Athletes Of The World: Vintage Sports Cards From the 1880′s

SB Nation has a great post today about the vintage sports cards of the 1880′s. These aren’t your father’s trading cards. They aren’t even his father’s!

Who are they? Well, meet Duncan Cross. He’s the “Champion All-Around Athlete Of The World.”

How’d he earn that distinction?

Duncan Cross appeared to earn this title by being a.) magnetic, and b.) in close proximity to European nobility, who were amazed and outraged when their medals flew off their jackets and onto this dashing Scotsman. Carrying them with ease was his main athletic accomplishment. His other was lifting bowling pins. No one got enough to eat in 1887, so if you could lift a bowling pin you were like the strongest man in the world. It was like the world’s biggest retirement home, basically, except lunch was always cholera.

Try P90X, pops, and then give us a call.

These cards are fantastic. And Spencer Hall gives us a few more excellent examples, including the Champion Base Ball Batter, Champion Boy Boxer of America, Boy Club Swinger, and Cannon Ball Catcher. Each one more mustachioed than the next.

The cards even got a little “racy” with one depicting Ada Webb, the Champion Water Queen.

MEOW! That might be the tamest photo we’ve posted on this site… ever!

You may think that these cards are tough to come by, but you can actually find a whole bunch of them on eBay. Makes for a good Father’s Day gift? Hey, you decide, we don’t even know your dad.

Wrigley Field Planning To Offer Fans $3 Beer

I think now I’m starting to remember why baseball is America’s pastime. Find out more about Wrigley Field’s plan to offer up super cheap beer at Chicago Cubs’ games after the jump.

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