Katy Perry Is A California Gurl, With An Icy Bun Bikini (VIDEO)

Katy Perry has made a name for herself for being carefree, light-hearted and fun. In her new video for California Gurls, she combines all those lovely attributes with a hot bod, a sugary bun bikini top and a bra that spews…icing? Check out a teaser for the video after the jump.

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Nicki Minaj and Cassie Want to F*ck U Silly

Or at least that is what they claim in the latest song to leak from Cassie‘s upcoming album. While Cassie is certainly known more for her sex appeal than just her singing abilities, she is definitely turning up the temperature with her latest release. She brought on equally sexified star Nicki Minaj to up the anty with lyrics like:

“Slim, trim and also light-skinned, now Pe-Pe-Peter, put that pipe in.”

Way to cut to the chase ladies. Take a listen to their track after the jump.

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Lady GaGa's "The Fame Monster" Has Leaked – How Is It?

Let me preface this by saying that I’m Lady GaGa‘s straightest fan, and I wish her nothing but the most complimentary bottles of red wine and the most glamorous inhalants eBay can buy.  But even we ridest and dyest of fans have our, “ugh ok Lady GaGa” moments.  The whole “I’m bisexual too!” thing was taxing.  I was pretty eh on the sparkler bra gag as well.  It felt like it had been done before, and I don’t care whether it Has Been Done or merely Should Have Been Done, Lady GaGa’s appeal is that she Does Otherwise Than That.

The new Fame Monster, leaked over the weekend a week in advance of its release (download it via here or here, the “DepositFiles” host site works, after you wait for the ad to time out: look I am all supportive of artists and their intellectual rights especially if those artists are Lady GaGa, but seriously one of this woman’s three-ring costumes could feed f*cking Azerbaijan, and Azerbaijan does not even have that low a standard of living), is larded with the fresh GaGa, but you get scoops of the trite GaGa as well.  The bad and the good, after the jump.  

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My Boyfriend Is the President!

Welcome to your jam for the day: “My Boyfriend Is the President.”  Yo, if your boyfriend were the president, you would be singing about it exactly as enthusiastically as this girl.  My favorite part of this – and it’s hard to choose, no doubt – is the brief moment at 1:05 when Vladimir Putin‘s face is shown on a Magic: The Gathering card (in Soviet Russia, +3 Orb of Silence Dissent is YOU!).  ”Your necromancer has been attacked by a Putin!”  The inclusion of the Pope and Hillary Clinton as potential boyfriend/presidents is also grand.  I know for a fact that the Pope and Hillary Clinton are neither boyfriends nor presidents.  And I further suspect that whoever made this could only name six countries in the world: “America,” “Russia,” “North Korea,” “Japan,” “USA,” and “Christianity.”

Via Videogum.

World's Biggest Cruise Ship Sets Sail

At sixteen stories, Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas is 50% bigger than the next-biggest cruise liner in the world.  ”A turf-covered chip and putt course, the world’s first open-air amphitheater, two surfing simulators, twenty-one swimming pools, and a zipwire.”  Also an indoor basketball court, a shopping mall, an “adults-only solarium,” and a carousel.  That’s what’s up.  This colossus can hold 6,000 passengers, runs 1,600 feet long, and cost $1.5 billion to construct.  We’re getting to the point when the question must be asked: at what size does it stop being “a ship” and start being “movable Jamaica”?

The Oasis left its shipyard in Finland today, on its way to Miami, its future port of departure.  Video of this giant seaborne wedding cake, plus the best amenity of all, after the jump.  

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Devlin: Magic That Rocks!!!!!! (Cue Power Chord, Eagle Scream)

I think I would be much better off as a person if every time I were about to lose all sense of perspective and say or do something toolish and embarrassing, a “Welcome to the Jungle” MIDI started blaring.  ”So I was like, ‘Yo bartender, you have my AmEx Black.  I need a round of shots for every blonde–’” DOO DOO DWA DOO DOO DA DWA DA, DOO DOO DWA DOO DOO DA DWA DA.  Devlin‘s MySpace page says it all:

Rather then choose between his two passions of Magic and Rock, Devlin decided to morph his two greatest influences, Def Leppard and Doug Henning to create “Devlin, Magic that Rocks.”

The magic really starts to rock at around 1:30.  I won’t give it away, but America winz!

We’re gonna bring you to your… NANANANANANA KNEEEEEEES!

Via Videogum.

Happy 15th Birthday, Annoying Banner Ads!

In 1994, Frank D’Angelo was working at an advertising firm called MVBMS, when his boss gave a corporate pep talk that would turn out to change the digital world.  He spoke of a “new media revolution.”  It would be enormous and fast, and if you missed the train on the coming innovations, you’d be left behind, just how it was with the Sedgway Revolution.  (Choral interlude: *Do you remember… early 2001?*)  I kid.  The internet is to the Sedgway what “is” is to “isn’t.”

Anyway, Frank was tasked with “jumpstarting the agency’s involvement in ‘cyberspace’” and making a “graphical ad unit” for a site called HotWired.com, which was then the cyber-incarnation of Wired magazine.

And so, fifteen years ago yesterday, banner ads were born, and we’ve been punching the crazed monkey ever since.  See if you can guess what the first six companies to advertise online were.  Plus, a picture of one of the first-ever banner ads, which is also one of the best-ever banner ads.  

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Laugh All You Want Until Boostalk Takes Over the Rap Game

Obviously, it’s easy to sit here and make fun of this, but when you’re sixteen years old, you only have so many ideas, and even less money.  So I’m going to commend young rapper Boostalk for what is positive in his new internet-single “We Gon’ Rock.”

1) He is pretty good at backflips.  Better than I am.

2) He sank that basket.

3) I like his rad Enyce shirt.

4) He is playing outside and enjoying the sunshine instead of spending all his time indoors with his internet chatrooms and his Nintendo 64.

New Rap Song “Don’t Shank, Just Skank” Encourages British People To Stop Stabbing Each Other

Hot new track burning up the British charts here.  “Don’t Shank, Just Skank” is a tune by rappers Donaeo, Rollin’ G, and a few others, and it is, in addition to being a certified club-bumper, also a certified Public Service Announcement Against Knife Crimes.  If you weren’t aware, the UK has a bit of a “citizens stabbing each other to death” problem, enough so that there is a governmental taskforce (TKAP or “Tackling Knives Action Programme”) and an active campaign to reduce knife-carrying “among 10 to 16 year olds.” (!!)

The campaign is called “It Doesn’t Have To Happen,” which is completely sensible.  By no means do senseless stabbing deaths have to happen, and yet it took a catchy hip-hop song to teach all of us that (us = you, over on that dystopian, gin-soaked, knife-crazy island).

Remember, kids: not so much with the shanking, definitely as much as possible with the skanking.

Source: BBC via The Awl.

Will Be Huge: Hadouken! – “M.A.D.” in “100 Greatest Hits of YouTube”

Hadouken! (as in, the Street Fighter move AKA down-down/right-right-A) is an electronica group out of Leeds, U.K.  They’ve been together for a few years and have charted modestly in their home country.  They hail, sort of, from the “grime” genre, which is kind of a fast-paced, high-beats-per-minute, minor-key type of what you’d broadly call techno music.  Kind of like The Prodigy.  Remember “Smack My B*tch Up”?  We all had fun with that one.  We’ll like this one too, then.

Hadouken!’s big breakthrough may come in the form of a viral video.  Their single “M.A.D.“ was tapped as the soundtrack for “100 Greatest Hits of YouTube in 4 Minutes,” which is itself poised to become a great hit of YouTube, as it has a million and a half views.  (In two years we’ll be all the way down the rabbit hole with “100 Greatest ’100 Greatest Hits of YouTube’ of YouTube,” set to the tune of Modulate’s “Skullf*ck“.)

Anyway, this is a HOT DANCE PARTY SONG that is POSSIBLY ABOUT BEATING FOOLS UP.  The viral video is good.  The music video is also good in a way that only men dressed in animal costumes fighting each other can be.  Both, after the jump.  

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