Caption Contest: In Celebration of Volleyball Butts?

We know what this is, but we’re still not sure what exactly this is.

Here’s what we know:

Mamma mia! What had happened to Horse Guards Parade? The grand old royal drill square had been transformed into a beach. And the only creatures on parade yesterday were some of the fittest young women in the world, their bikini bottoms pointing squarely in the direction of Number 10.

You can come up with a better story than that, can’t you? For more inspiration, how about more beach volleyball butts?

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Woman Has Breast Reduction Surgery Because You Won’t Stop Groping Her [Photos]

Meet Gemma Westmoreland. She used to be the proud owner of a lovely set of 36J breasts. That was until she was continuously groped by strangers. You had to ruin a good thing, didn’t you, fellas?

Details:

With the breast reduction surgery she’s dropped 14 cup sizes – from J to C – and halved her dress size, from 16 to 8.

‘I was getting unwanted attention from both sexes,’ said Gemma, from, Barnsley, east Yorkshire.

‘People thought that because they were so big they could grab them. I would be out in town and people thought they had free rein to grope me.

‘It didn’t matter what town I was in. I would be walking down the street and people would shout jeers of “they can’t be real.” It was horrible to be me before this operation.

‘I had to wear two bras, which made me feel very self-conscious when I was getting intimate or personal.

That’s a mighty decrease. But, can you blame her? There’s no need to grope a woman. Really. The jeering? Might they have been asking politely…? Whatever the case, we’re sad to see them go.

See the “before” photo after the jump!

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Sarah Underwood Covers The World Naked Bike Ride in Portland [Video]

What a way to start the morning!

The beautiful Sarah Underwood of the G4 Network took the ‘The World Naked Bike Ride’ in Portland, Oregon, and, well, got naked! She and some 10,000 people, to be exact. We can’t say that all 10,000 attendees are worth looking at, but we can vouch for Underwood.

Maybe the best part, aside from the nakedness, is in the beginning of the video when Underwood sprays down her bike seat. Well-done.

The SFW video is after the jump…

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Gwyneth Paltrow Goes Topless For ‘Vanity Fair’ [Photos]

Apparently Gwyneth Paltrow has been living a healthy and wholesome lifestlye. OK, the healthy part we get. The wholesome part? Nope. And waking up at 4:30AM to exercise? No thanks.

For Ms. Paltrow, though, the lifestyle works, as it’s certainly showing hearty returns. For a 38-year-old mother of two, she looks better now than she ever has. Still, we’re not getting up at 4:30AM. Sorry.

She credits eating “clean food,” which means… well, we have no idea. It’s all about results, though. So if eating “clean foods” makes her look like a 26-year-old model, please, continue to eat away.

Nude-ish photo after the jump!

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Men Keep Staring At Other Chicks’ Boobage …

… your girlfriend might actually appreciate it. Find out what I mean after the jump.

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The U.S. Is Holding It Down In Breast Size, Not So Much With The Penis

I think Target Map just became my new favorite website. Find out where the United States falls in terms of breast and penis size after the jump. Just a heads up, ladies … you’re doing a decent job. Men … well, there might be some work that needs to be had.

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There Are 600,000 Fake, Jiggling Boobs In The USA

Have you ever felt prouder to be an American? Find out more about the hundreds of thousands of fake boobs bouncing around the country after the jump.

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Nope, You Can’t Get Condoms From Condom

I don’t know if I’m more interested in why condoms are getting banned or why they’re coming from a place called Condom. Well, find out answers to both of your questions after the jump.

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Staring At Boobs Can Improve Heart Health

Next time your woman catches you staring at a hot waitresses boobs, at least you’ll have a good excuse. Find out how checking out breasts can actually be good for your health after the jump.

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iPhone App Helps You Track Down Rubbers

Today is sure filled with some creative iPhone apps. Looking for some free rubbers to make your night a little more exciting? Well, there’s an app for that (courtesy of the NYC Department of Health). Find out more after the jump.

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