Brief FListed hiatus guys.  Sorry!  What is the meaning of this?  What is the meaning of anything?  I don’t know.  I don’t have answers, just this hilarious compilation of Roger Sterling zingers.  They’re great because a lot of them aren’t even that witty.  He just delivers them like, “I just crushed you with the most confident insult ever,” and you know what, I’m sold every time.  ”Well I know where you’d be!”  Good one?  Good one.

Anyway, new content coming soon, this paper isn’t getting itself, etc. etc.

So about two weeks ago, our FListed Twitter account vanished into the Internet Drain.  I tried to work with the Twitter people to bring it back, but not only was it gone, there was no record of it ever existing.  So these tech people at this free service I was using for free tried to tell me that they didn’t lose FListed’s Twitter, it just wasn’t there (“Are you sure you had a Twitter account, sir?  Are you sure it wasn’t a Sharpie and roll of toilet paper?”).  Needless to say, I was outraged in fewer ways than one.  However, I have set it up again.  And to get things going again, I’m going to start off with some fun Twitter games (an idea I ripped off of @videogum) we can all play.  Be sure to follow FListed.

We’ve seen a flurry of spoof porn movies lately, from 30 Rock to Star Trek. Which mainstream movie or TV show should they make into a porn spoof next, and what should it be called?  I’ve gone ahead with some to start you off here: #newpornspoofs.

Celebrity Scandal Clue!  The idea is that you pick a celebrity and place him or her in a suspicious location with an accessory of guilt, just like in the board game (you remember: “Miss Scarlet, in the ballroom, with the wrench”).  Except the result, instead of a murder, is a scandal.  Joe Biden, in the hot tub, with the Bangles.  Miley Cyrus, in the 7/11, with the sideways Glock.  Megan Fox, in the trunk of the Cherokee, with the Wilmer Valderrama.  You get the idea.  Play at #celebrityscandalclue.

Who is the worst celebrity?  You can feel free to explain why, or not.  (Spoiler Alert: Chris Brown.)  Play along at #worstcelebrity.

Remember to use the hash tags and to add FListed on Twitter.

Well hello, hello,

Just wanted to introduce myself, I’m Alyssa and I’m going to be contributing to this blog as much as I can. I’m 22 and I’m clawing my way into magazines in NYC. My strengths include being inappropriate, eating everything and never exercising, Tivo, handing over my paycheck to the LIRR, rambling on my blog, and typically being grossly underpaid for my education and experience.  I also am a sucker for homeless people… and puppies. I used to be a dancer and an equestrian, but that’s over now. I believe in always wearing the minimal amount of clothing possible. I have been called a nudist and I’m ok with that. Undergarments are for suckers. My favorite show is Weeds. I’ve always been the “token guy’s girl” and dream of working at Maxim.

And just so we start off on the right foot, here’s the most attractive picture of myself that I can find:  

Hello, FListers.  I know we’ve had a bit of a site redirect epidemic here this week, what with a lot of readers being sent off to weird and wacky ad sites.  When you came to this site, did you want to be told your computer had a fake virus, or to find out where to meet hot Asian men, or how to diet using only self-loathing and a tongue press?  No, or probably not, anyway.  If that had been the case, you’d have Googled “I want to be told my computer has a fake virus” rather than “f listed.”

So we’re trying to fix this because it sucks!  Next time you get redirected on this site, plz copy-paste the URL into the comments to this post (and mention what post you were on to get the redirect), or send it to me via the contact box.

Thanks for your help, and sorry that the site is being such an inconvenience store this week.

Just to put any speculation to rest: F-Listed is not closing, nor will our content be any different than it currently is.  But as you must know… it’s hard to make money off a website.

However, stay tuned for new writing talent as well as a design facelift.  And be sure to show Melysa and Sabrina love in their future work.

F-Listed‘s parent company Moguldom Media Group has just launched a new site, HipHopWired.  The folks over there have just put up what could be their mission statement:

Hip-Hop Wired will raise the bar for what we expect of Hip-Hop artist by asking them challenging and engaging questions. Our motto is just because you’re from the hood doesn’t mean that your mentality has to remain there. Smarten up!

Unbeknownst, many rappers adhere to these principles as well but will tell their fans otherwise as they choose to spit bullsh*t fairy tales about being the biggest kingpins in their former neighborhoods, racking up murders on their road to destruction and endangering Black youth in the process.

There will also be a spotlight for unknown talent and “sharp and engaging political commentary,” as well as other industry scoop.

Now look to your right.  I mean, on your monitor.  You see something about a “Bangin’ Candy Gallery.”  There is also that.  You may be interested in that.

Pay them a visit.

If you like F-Listed and you know it, show some love on Facebook.  The new F-Listed page is up, and I heard it’s going to be a huge scene.  Like, I heard Tara Reid might show up, but I mean keep that under your hat.

Right now, it’s just me, though.  So get with it.

Picture: This is what it looks like when people paint me.

Hello friends and fools,

My name is Ben and I’m starting as a new editor here at F-Listed right now–wait… ok, now.

Who is this clown, coming in here with his words and sentences, you ask.  Here’s a little background: in my previous career, I worked in a sort of “hired gun” capacity, in the sense that contractors would hire me to gun down targeted individuals (with a gun).  But in these difficult times of recession, fewer and fewer mafia dons and jealous wives are willing to pay to send their enemies to the carefree bliss of death.

Yet the internet neither slows nor sleeps, so I’m hitching my star to it instead.  Going forward, I’ll be solving my problems with helping hands and happy hugs rather than gin and rage.  Other things you should know about me:

I have four children by six different women–their names are Sammy Hagar, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, and Martin Van Halen–and I drive a Volkswagen Cabrio welded to the top of a tank.  When I honk the horn, it plays “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden, which is also my ringtone.  But I may change it.  I am an Aries.

Now that you know at least five fun lies about me, let me hear from you!  We’ll be adding plenty of new content to F-Listed in the coming weeks, so now’s your chance to tell me what kinds of things you’d like to see featured on the site.  Send all questions, ideas, and ringtone suggestions to bodonnell@flisted.com.

But if you’re trying to start something, why don’t you come over here and say it to my face, in, uh, the comments section.

Hey roosters and clams, things are slow this morning, errr, afternoon. Yes, I woke up late after all the clocks in my house were set one hour back, instead of one hour forward (D’oh!), and now WordPress is fighting with me. Hang in there. I’ve got some goodies planned for you guys. Why? Because I lover you!

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed

Normally I tune out Kanye West when he opens his mouth to talk, because it’s probably going to be more talk about how magnificent his presence has been to the music industry, but wouldn’t you know it, the one time I let down my guard and opened my little Rican heart, he gives F-Listed a shout out! 

The humble 31-year-old named F-Listed as one of his favorite sites during his latest interview with Details Magazine, which hits stands next week. This, of course, begs the question: What is it about us you find so irresistible? Perhaps it’s our love for sex and beautiful women? What can I say, we aim to please!

Video shout out after the jump! Below, pics of Kanye in denim at the Narcisco Rodriguez Fall 2009 show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York City yesterday.

Video in 3…2…1…

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