Carrie Underwood recently confessed to Allure Magazine that ex-boyfriend Tony Romo still calls her from time to time.  Of him she said, “the phone will ring and it’ll be [Romo], and I’ll maybe not answer.”

But Jessica Simpson wants all the world to know that little Miss Underwood is just talking trash.  Jess told a Nashville radio station, that the claim is “definitely” false and that she knows as such because “[she] looked at his call log.” She went on to say, “Tony and I both laughed at that.  We got a chuckle out of it.”

Atta girl, Jess!! Announce to the entire world that your insecure in your relationship.  You sure showed her!

Please, you and I both know there was no chuckling involved. Homegirl ripped through that front door with fire in her eyes and demanded an explanation or she’d make him look like a Ken doll and cut his QB pipi off with a nail file.

Above, Jess’ Texas beer ad campaign. Below, her chillin’ at the pool in Miami this week.

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Contrary to reports, Jennifer Aniston is not about to settle down and have her eggs sperminated by John Mayer.

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked.

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

“Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

“She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.”

Jesus F. Christ, lady. Slow down!!  A timetable?  This can only mean one thing: they had the ass sex together.

That’s right.  Once you stick you dong in a girl’s anus she’s going to want a ring and some sperm put away for a rainy, post-menopausal day.  Lesson learned: Buy yourself a hooker.  It’ll spare you the breakup drama of her screaming, “I let you c^m in my asshole, you asshole!”

Here’s Jen and her sweet sweet stems taking her bitches to her assistant’s place yesterday somewhere in Cali.

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FBI agents confiscated Anne Hathaway’s personal diaries left at ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri’s $37,500-a-month Trump Tower pad during a recent raid, reports Rush & Malloy.

Seeking to bolster their case against the dashing Italian, who has been charged with 11 counts of fraud and money laundering, agents are also said to have seized photos of Follieri with Bill and Hillary Clinton, Pope John Paul II, and John and Cindy McCain. Also confiscated were documents, watches, a Tiffany clock, an antique Bible and personal photos of Follieri and Hathaway.

Hathaway, who has been charged with no crime, has cut off all contact with the 30-year-old Follieri, say sources. While Follieri recently had associates return to Hathaway a $250,000 abstract painting that had hung in his pad, “she’s changed her numbers so he can’t reach her,” says a friend. “Raffaello has been trying to call her all the time.”

The source went on to say the FBI agents drank cosmopolitan’s and painted their nails while perusing through her diary filled with juicy entries such as, “The time had come.  I had to learn to suck it up and take a it like a real woman.  As her squeezed the Astroglide between my cheeks I could feel my chocolate starfish start to pucker.  Right then and there I knew it: I was going to love anal.”

Alright, there’s no proof she wrote such exquisite filth. I’m curious to know what she wrote in that thing.  But more importantly, what kind of woman leaves her diaries at her ex-boyfriend’s place?  Makes you wonder if she thought to take the sex tapes and naked photos with her.

It’s true Spanish model Nereida Gallardo has a bangin’ body (see here), but Manchester United soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo has already grown tired of her and found new p^ssy to plow.

Sources say Nereida is having a fit because he refuses to pick up any of her phone calls during his stay abroad in Los Angeles.  Meanwhile, photos have surfaced of Cristiano lounging poolside with his latest prize, Italian model Letizia Filippi.  What a hard life he does lead.

These soccer players sure know how to get the ladies.  They’re the modern day rock stars. Except for David Beckham. He got stuck with that pig face for a woman.  He must really hate his penis.

Below, photos of the soccer player with his new lady friend at Villa yesterday.  Topless photos of Nereida at Palma De Mallorca in Spain yesterday after the cut.

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Uncensored NSFW Topless Shots of Nereida in 3…2…1…. Continue »

All signs point to yes! Well, maybe, it’s still unclear.  Either way, you can still stare the f^ck out of them.  At least you’ll always have that.

Mexican-born actress Salma Hayek and French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault have called off their engagement, their representative confirms to USA TODAY.

“We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled. There will be no further comment,” Hayek’s rep said in a statement.

Heart stricken we are.  As if!!  Have you seen this dude?  Every time I picture Salma licking his chode my vagina starts to cry!

PS - Best… Salma Hayek photos… EVER….!

Say it ain’t so!

According to The Daily Mail, Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom have split up.  But that’s not the tragic part.

The tragic part is that she’s gone back to boinking THIS greasy excuse for a person.

Miranda and Brandon, who recently split from another Australian model, Cheyenne Tozzi, were spotted canoodling at two clubs in NYC in recent weeks, claims US magazine In Touch.

A witness told the publication they were ‘making out’ during a night out at 1Oak before taking their public display of affection to Beatrice Inn.

The onlooker said: ‘They didn’t seem to care who saw.’

Added the source: ‘Miranda always seems to go to Brandon when she has a fight with Orlando.’

‘He’s her rebound guy.’

Miranda and Orlando, 31, quietly began dating last year.

Who in their right mind goes from dating Orlando Bloom to Brandon Davis? Uggg.  Obviously her vagina doesn’t know a quality dick when it sees one.

Me, on the other hand, I not only know how to spot them, I know how to treat them, too.  With one hand on the shaft, the other on the balls, and my head bobbing up and down. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

NSFW see-through nipple photo under the cut! Continue »

By now it’s no secret that Sienna Miller’s mouth and vagina are keeping busy swallowing Brothers & Sisters’ actor Balthazar Getty’s sperm, as the couple have made no attempt to keep their affair a secret from the world.

Photos surfaced this week of Miller parading around topless with Getty in Italy, who, despite having his wife’s name tattooed on his chest, is clearly not committed to his marriage anymore.

Friends of his wife of eight years, Rosetta, say she is humiliated by the public affair.

“It’s humiliating,” a friend tells People. “Rosetta left the country to protect the kids, and he continues to see Sienna publicly.”

I see Rosetta is a “glass half empty” kind of gal.  Homegirl has hit the lottery and doesn’t even know it!  Face the facts, your man is a total douche.

On the plus side you can divorce him, take half his money and start your life anew.  Most women who get cheated on by their men are lucky if they walk away STD-free.  At least you’ll get enough moola in the process to pay for your lifetime supply of Valtrex!

NSFW topless shots after the jump! Continue »

I’ve got some good news for you boys who don’t care for quality acting, so much as a nice set of tits to look at.

According to Page Six, director Robert Rodriguez broke up with his homewrecker of a girlfriend, Rose McGowan, and now Jessica Alba is rumored to be a possible replacement as the lead in his upcoming remake of the 1968 cult classic “Barbarella.”

Sources say the engaged couple split after Rodriguez had problems financing his upcoming remake because essentially nobody gives a crap about McGowan.

McGowan, best known for her witchy role on TV’s “Charmed,” wasn’t thought to have enough box-office draw for the $70 million remake, especially after “Grindhouse” disappointed with about $25.4 million in domestic ticket sales.

“Too bad ‘Grindhouse’ didn’t gross $100 million. Then, maybe, ‘Barbarella’ would have gotten the green light,” said one source. “Instead, the moguls were saying, ‘We need a bigger star, a bigger name.’ “ Jessica Alba has been touted as a possible replacement.

That what Rose McGowan gets for having an affair with a married man.  We all know nothing will happen to him though.  He’ll just go off and find himself an even younger, even skankier ho to plow.

Go ahead and give Jessica Alba the job for all I care because I won’t be watching this already ill-fated remake.  But if you need me, I’ll be at home watching some porn online.

Below, photos of Jessica Alba post-baby.  Nine months after that thing pressing on her bladder and still not a single smile.  She really does amaze me.  How can someone never ever smile?

More post baby photos in 3…2…1… Continue »

Anne Hathaway doesn’t get angry, she gets even.  A pal of her recently arrested ex-boyfriend Raffaello Follieri believes it was she who ratted him out to the po pos.

“It makes sense,” the friend said. “She’s referred to as his former girlfriend in the indictment even though her spokesman never confirmed they broke up.”

Hathaway, who is not identified by name in the criminal complaint, split with Follieri shortly before his arrest last week. He is charged with posing as an agent of the Vatican to fleece investors out of millions.

“I think that in return for her cooperation, the feds held off on arresting Follieri until she was out of the country,” the friend said.

It’s a shame because after seeing these photos of Anne going down on him in the light of day I really thought these two crazy kids were going to make it.  I mean, if giving blowjobs in public isn’t love, then why do I have so many boyfriends?

Here’s Anne at the “Get Smart” premiere in Mexico City over the weekend.

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Megan Fox might have fiance Brian Austin Green’s name permanently tattooed on her, but it seems the couple’s relationship may only be temporary.

According to Star Magazine, Megan has been spotted without her engagement over the last few months, sparking rumors that the two are on the outs.

An insider on the set of her movie “Jennifer’s Body” says that the 22-year-old didn’t act like she was taken. “I’ve never seen her wearing an engagement ring. I actually thought she and Adam Brody, who’s also in the movie, were dating. They were very flirty with each other and were always hanging out together when they weren’t working.”

But her good pal, actress Jennifer Blanc, tells Star that despite her leaving the rock at home, Megan is indeed still engaged. “She does wear it sometimes,” insists Jennifer. “I’ve never asked her why she doesn’t always put it on.”

Megan needs to quit sucking on Brian’s penis and come up for air.  If the two haven’t already split then she better hurry her ass.

Actually, I hope her foolish ass gets knocked-up with his child.  Did you know she got his name tattooed on her after three months of dating?!   Three effing months!  I won’t even let a guy puncture my asshole with his penis until at least six months of dating.

Her dumbass said of the tattoo, “I got mine three months into dating him, but I felt I wouldn’t regret it if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.”

Megan should date Brian Griffin instead.  He’s way cooler than Brian Austin Green and he’d totally give it to her doggie style.

Rolling Stone Magazine outtakes posted below for your viewing pleasure.

More photos after the jump! Continue »