Check out the new N.E.R.D. music video for “Everyone Nose.”

And FYI: Our favorite 35-year-old Long Island lesbian cokehead is in the video.

Enjoy.

More details on the tape Adnan Ghalib is shopping around of him and Britney Spears having sex.

“Word is that the video starts with Britney undressing,” said the insider. “She was wearing some cheap clothes that she bought down there in Rosarito. The sex wasn’t particularly kinky but Britney wears a pink wig throughout. At one point in the tape Adnan asks the singer to remove the pink bob but she refused. Adnan tells her to take it off at one point and she says coyly, ‘Take what off? There’s nothing left to take off.’”

Awesome, a bipolar and emotionally crippled chick in bed. SMH. I want to tie Adnan down and force-feed him my strap-on.

A friend of mine in college found out his high school sweetheart that broke his heart was an escort where we all went to school. He called her one day and said if she didn’t fork over money she’d be sorry.

At her refusal to pay, he paid her parents a visit the next day. With him were a dozen or so photos of her screwing both guys and chicks are parties.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

PS- These photos are old.

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Star Magazine reports that Natalie Portman’s boyfriend, folk rock artist Devendra Banhart, spent $200 worth of adult toys at Fantasy Parties sex shop in Manhattan earlier this month.

Devendra needs to put down the penis glasses and whip out his c()ck already. Just look at her. This girl is in dire need of a protein shot, bad… and extra chunky.

Here’s the 26-year-old actress at the opening night ceremony dinner during the 61st International Cannes Film Festival yesterday.

The Scoop is reporting that Mariah Carey’s ex-boyfriend, whom she “secretly split” with in early 2008, is having a hemroid attack over her having fallen in love and gotten married so soon after their split.

The magazine says that music producer Mark Sudack dated Carey for nearly four years, and he even worked on her “E=MC2” album.

Did Mariah Carey break hearts en route to her marriage to Nick Cannon? It looks that way, according to Us Weekly.

The magazine says that music producer Mark Sudack dated Carey for nearly four years, and he even worked on her “E=MC2” album. Though the two “secretly split” in early 2008, Us says Sudack is “shattered” by his ex’s nuptial news.

“Everyone is scared to call him because no one knows what to say,” a friend of his told the mag. “He never thought she would go off and marry someone else. He’s heartbroken and shocked.”

Dude just needs to get over the fact that now there’s a new man leaving his scent in Mariah’s asshole. Stick a tampon in him and let’s call it a day.

Here’s Mariah and hubby Nick reproducing right in front of the cameras at Six Flags Magic Mountain in California earlier this week.

Here’s Nick Cannon shopping for his 6-year-old wife in Beverly Hills the other day.

I know Mariah Carey is loaded and whatnot, but no amount of money could make me date (let alone marry) a woman who has the mentality of a 6-year-old.

Hell, when I was 6 I wasn’t playing with Hello Kitty, I was playing with myself! What can I say, I was horny from a very early age.

Also, Rush & Malloy reports the newlywed couple are already planning to have a baby. But get this… she asked the designers over at Petite Tresor if they could work with the theme: butterflies. I am convinced Mariah never got her period.

Hugh Hefner, 82, should watch his 28-year-old girlfriend Holly Madison swallow her birth control with his own two eyes if I were him.

Not because they’re screwing, but because someone else might be screwing her and Hef will be the one to end up paying in the end.

“We are no closer to getting married than we were years ago,” a dejected Holly told Tarts at last week’s “Playmate of the Year” luncheon held at the iconic Mansion. “It’s like a car stalled at the side of the road.”

While the 28-year-old glamour girl may still be holding out for a miraculous jump-start, she found it difficult to deal with her boyfriend’s thoughts on the situation as she sadly turned away while he spoke.

“I love Holly very much and I think we’re going to be together the rest of my life,” Hef said. “But marriage isn’t part of my puzzle. It’s not a personal thing; I just haven’t had much luck with marriages.”

I’ve heard if you lick a man’s taint he’ll give you anything you want. Or so I’ve heard. I just do it ’cause I like the way it tastes.

NSFW nude photos of Holly below.

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Jennifer Aniston, 39, gets affection with John Mayer, 30, poolside at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami over the weekend.

One question: Who walks around with binoculars?

SplashNews

Poolside photos after the jump! Continue »

Nick Hogan’s new mugshot following sentencing pictured above. The 17-year-old son of former wrestling champ Hulk Hogan was sentenced earlier today.

The details via TMZ:

Nick Hogan threw himself at the mercy of the judge today in Tampa in his felony reckless driving case — and he got just a lil’ bit. Hogan was sentenced to eight months in jail, five years’ probation and 500 hours community service, and the judge yanked his license for three years.

His victim — and once best bud — John Graziano’s family had asked for a year in the slammer, but the judge didn’t go quite that far. Nick apologized to the family in his statement, which, according to the Grazianos, would’ve been the first time he’d ever done so.

John’s sister and girlfriend gave particularly heart-wrenching testimony — the latter told the judge how she had to feed him and how they have to watch movies together in the comfort … of his hospital bed.

Has justice been served?

Newlyweds Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon made their first public appearance since the two tied the knot held at last night’s ‘Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World’ in New York City. Cannon’s cash cow performed at the event and then had dinner at the Wavery Inn.

Nick really hit the jackpot with this one. No matter if she’s a squirter, b*tch is so loaded I bet her lets her spray her love juice all over his face.

Sarah Larson claims she became hooked on VH1’s Rock of Love last year after recognizing some of her escort friends on the show. Alright, she didn’t really say that.

She said it was because she was a couch potato after being in a motorcycle accident last year, but you and I both know that’s not the real reason.

“We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated,” Sarah says in June’s Harper’s Bazaar. “And we were like, ‘This is sad.’”

She also said she wouldn’t have thought of sucking George Clooney’s member if he’d been a pauper, but since he was rolling in dough she decided it was worth her time.

“If George had been on a reality show, I don’t think I’d have talked to him,” she admits. “It would have been like, ‘That’s nice.’

“I don’t know,” she adds. “He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion.”

And by ate a scorpion she means she sucked down a black customer’s ginormous c()ck from back in her escort days. That’s pretty much like eating a scorpion.

Scorpions kill you ’cause they’re poisonous, and 2′ d*cks kill you because they rip through your insides and out your skull. Trust me, I know all about it.

Here’s Clooney and his call-girl after attending the “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” gala in NYC earlier this week.

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