TMZ was filming Kate Beckinsale walking down the street with her husband and daughter when suddently the British actress pulled down her top to show her daughter her boob, before then rubbing her husband’s package in public.

The more I learn of Kate Beckinsale, the more I want to find out what she tastes like.

And believe me, I know where she’s coming from.  Sometimes a woman just needs a c()ck inside her.  The difference between her and I is that when I rub a dudes package it normally ends with me giving him a handjob under the table.

See the video here.

It’s amazing to think she looks good when she does that.  Miley Cyrus is still having sex with herself on camera, as seen here in these newly leaked released candids of the 15-year-old narcissist.

Every time I see her pucker her lips all I can see is my dog’s asshole before her bowels expel her dinner.

Do you think these are common gestures and photos for a 15-year-old?

More whoredom in 3…2…1… Continue »

Meet Ranae Shrider.  She’s the exgirlfriend/live-in roommate/sex tape partner of actor Verne Troyer.  Ranae is a 22-year-old aspiring model.  In Hollywood?  You don’t say! It’s only a matter of days before she gets her own reality show on the E! Network.

The paps are already on her ass asking her questions about the tape.  Yesterday, while grabbing some coffee at Starbucks Ranae said of the leaked tape, “Do I look like I should be smiling about this.”

Well, she does seem to have met Paris Hilton, if even for just one photograph.  She probably got the HO virus from her.  The HO virus is said to cause constipation, dizziness, the increased desire for a man’s DNA and excessive whoredom, seen in the form of sex tapes and upskirt shots.

Below are some unimpressive photos of Raena, including one of her with the biggest disease in the world, Paris Hilton.

For more pics of Raena, check out Celebslam.

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More photos after the jump! Continue »

With the past couple of scandal-free weeks, I was starting to lose my mind writing about Kim Kardashian shopping and Heidi Montag being a “born star.”

But alas, it seems God has heard my pleas and delivered me good worth jacking to.  A new sex tape has surfaced, this time with the spotlight on actor Verne Troyer, of Austin Powers fame, and his former live-in girlfriend.

The leaked taped is currently being shopped around for bidders, with SugarDVD being the only known thus far to offer $100,000 for it.

Vivid Entertainment needs to get their hands on this!  Verne might only be 2′ 3″ but you and I both know this tape will be more entertaining than Kim or Paris’ ever were.  Those two shouldn’t even be classified as sex tapes, so far as I’m concerned. Bo-ring!

TMZ has a clip of Verne Troyer, which can be seen here.  If I was a betting chick, I’d say the sex tape will look something like this video right here.

More caps after the jump! Continue »

Orlando Bloom and his model girlfriend Miranda Kerr showed off their birthday suits while vacationing in Spain over the weekend.

Miranda’s nipple was partially exposed and captured on film by the prying eyes of the paparazzi’s lens despite her attempt to hide her nip behind a book.  Also photographed, Orlando Bloom’s butt.

She’s a cute girl, but if I had to choose between the two my vagina would rather Orlando Bloom over this Victoria’s Secret model.  Miranda lacks flavor, while Orlando has an exceptionally beautiful butt.

NSFW topless shots after the jump! Continue »

Rod Stewart’s 37-year-old wife Penny Lancaster whipped out her breasts for some quick nipple sucking action while on a yacht in Capri, Italy over the weekend.

In case you were wondering why older men wind up dating women nearly 30 years younger than them the answer is simple: they put out.

Methinks she got this public nipple sucking idea from Daisy Fuentes.

More NSFW nipple sucking photos after the jump! Continue »

Gossip Girl Blake Lively in Manhattan earlier this week.

I know what you’re thinking and no it’s not cum.  Perverts!  Her dog Penny just happened to piss on her lap in the car.

Jeez, it’s always about sex with you people. Grow up!

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Full Disclosure: Which starlet with an often-troubled boyfriend actually plays for the other team — and puts up with her boy toy’s habits to maintain hetero appearances?

I always knew Anne Hathaway played for the other team! I can smell the dry vagina juices on her mouth from all the way over here! Girls like Anne always start out tasting snatch while rolling.  Then one day she realized drugs weren’t the real reason she liked eating bearded clams so much.

Crazy Days and Nights: I have been meaning to share this one for the past week and I keep forgetting. You know the female singer dating the “porn star?” Yep, they made a sex tape. The last film the “porn star” made put us all to sleep. This one though should probably make for a really funny comedy. I cannot wait to see if this one comes out. I might actually buy it instead of stealing it from the internet.

This is definitely Ray. J and Whitney Houston.  That’s one amateur porno my eyes really don’t cry through.  Ugh, how does Ray J. manage to keep getting laid?!   The only way you could ever catch me sucking Ray J’s dick is if he had electrical tape over his mouth.  And not just over the mouth, but like wrapped around his head so there was absolutely no effing way that thing could fall off.

Every time I think of him peeing on Kim Kardashian all I can smell is asparagus.

Actress Anne Hathaway at the Warner Bros. world premiere of “Get Smart” held at the Mann Village Theatre in Westwood, California yesterday.

More photos after the jump! Continue »

A rumor was circulating the web that Grey’s Anatomy actress Chyler Leigh recently had a sex tape leaked. Sadly, it’s not really her on the video.

The chick in the sex flick doesn’t have Chyler’s distinctive tattoo, which the actress has had since age 19. Also, the imposter has a tongue ring, which Chyler does not.

Bummer. I’d love to see this broad naked. In all honesty I wouldn’t be surprised if she was involved in a sex tape. After all, Chyler did make out with her brother. Yeah. Her biological brother. On screen for all of us to see.

To see the video of her making out with her brother, click here.

Source

Our favorite 35-year-old Long Island hooker is back to her old tricks.

Lindsay Lohan tried to revive her career as an attention hungry whore in Cannes over the weekend by teasing us with her fire crotch, sporting an engagement ring at the Dolce & Gabbana party, and making sure the paparazzi captured her parading around in a bikini.

It’s like September 2006 all over again!

Except now no one cares anymore. Upskirt shots are about as outdated as single-digit pregnancies. If Lindsay really wants the world talking about her she’s going to have to raise the bar.

I say it’s time for a new celebrity sex tape to hit the Net. This time with some hot scissoring action between Linds and Sam. Now that’d be a Lindsay Lohan movie actually worth watching!

To see the upskirt shot, click here.

Upskirt and more bikini photos after the jump! Continue »