Blue veins aside, I would totally drizzle some sticky maple syrup all over those tits and just shove them in my mouth and suck on them for hours and hours on end.
With one breast in each hand, my mouth slowly swirling from left nipple to right nipple and back and forth and back and forth and in and out and in and… um, sorry. I’ll take my fingers out from inside me now.
SplashNews
More photos after the jump! Continue »
Christina Aguilera channeled her inner Barbie in a pink and purple dress complete with sunglasses and platinum blonde hair while conducting business in NYC earlier today.
This is what I imagined Eliot Spitzer’s escort to look like at $5,500 a pop. Xtina’s a damn blow-up doll come to life, complete with massive knockers to drizzle your load on.
Sure, Xtina looks cheap, but those tits most definitely were not. I wouldn’t mind if she left some of that pink lipstick all over my lips.. down there, that is.
Maxim Magazine has released the 2008 “Hot 100,” of which I’m pretty certain was compiled by one of Pete Doherty’s crackpipe kittens.
Here’s the top 10:
1. Marisa Miller
2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Jessica Biel
4. Eva Longoria
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
6. Elisha Cuthbert
7. Eva Mendes
8. Christina Aguilera
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Ashley Tisdale
WTF is up with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashley Tisdale?! For realz. My vagina wouldn’t kiss their lips unless money was involved. Big money.
Did I mention that both Britney Spears (#19), Avril Lavigne (#24), and Kat Von D (#62) beat out Mila Kunis (#81) and Olivia Munn (#99)?!?!?!?!?
Do you hear that? It’s my vagina crying its eyes out.
Check out the Marisa Miller gallery here.
More photos after the jump! Continue »
Salma Hayek might be above flashing some cleavage post-pregnancy, but Christina Aguilera most definitely is not.
No new record album? No problem! Just a peek a those perky tits is sure to get her the attention this media ho is looking for.
Photographed in NYC last night, Christina and her extensive cleavage were in attendance at a private event for Christian Dior at Guastavino’s. Jennifer Lopez was also in attendance.
I couldn’t help but notice the miserable look on husband Jordan’s babboon face. Someone should stick their fingers up his ass and stimulate his colon or some jazz. Tits as fluffy as those should never go unnoticed.
UPDATE: Looks like Xtina is in dire need of Lindsay’s leggings with built-in knee pads. Check out Xtina’s scabby knees. Semen does a body good!
SplashNews
Vowing to lose the baby weight before releasing her fourth album, Christina Aguilera has taken up boxing in hopes of shedding the excess pounds.
“I haven’t got back to my pre-baby weight yet, but I’m loving my body,” Christina explained. “My husband loves my cleavage in particular.
“I’ve just got back into the gym and I’m doing boxing and weights. I want to be in shape for my next record.”
Hopefully she’ll lose the belly without losing the giant mammaries. What a shame that would? Not just for her husband, but for our eyes. Her breasts can make the darkest of days bright again — even if they are veiny and lopsided.
See what I’m talking about by clicking here, here and here.
Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman might have a newborn in the house, but that doesn’t mean the couple has forgotten how to keep the spark alive.
Star Magazine reports the couple likes to go skinny dipping late at night and have been heard making loud, sexy noises coming from their pool.
“They don’t just splash around — they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises,” says a source. “We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they’d keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour.”
Uh, huh. You can tell it’s some old lady saying this. Bet you five bucks grandpa probably has his nightly routine of whipping out the Viagra and the binoculars while the Mrs. snoozes.
If you’re wife had mammaries the size of melons you too wouldn’t let anything like a baby keep you from enjoying them. Plus, it’s way easier to tittyf^ck in the water.
Jordan, you’re one like sonofabitch.
Photos of XTina at Toys ‘R Us yesterday after the jump! Continue »
Christina Aguilera might have tried to hide her sweet post-baby cleavage while in West L.A. last night, but her breasts weren’t having it. At least one of them wasn’t. Even with all the layering, her left breast was able to peak out and tease us. Why she’s covering her boobs, is beyond me. It’s not like any of us are checking out her drag queen face of hers.
They’re calling it postpardum panic, I’m calling it being a money-hungry diva.
Christina Aguilera is said to have fired her publicity firm, one of her assistants and her day-to-day manager after the pop star only banked $1.5 million for shots of her with her son, Max. According to one source the buxom blonde “went crazy.”
Hopefully she’s “crazy” enough to rethink Playboy’s offer. Preferably now while she still has those massive titties.
Here is a demure Aguilera on her way to dinner with Bat Boy this week. Guess her funbags didn’t want to come out to play this night. For shame.
View her postpardum rack here, here, and here.
UPDATE!!! I put the cleavage-less shots after the jump after finding these new ones of Aguilera and her postpardum rack.
I don’t know where they’re from, but more importantly I don’t know what’s wrong with them.
What’s with them being lopsided? Is this what happens when an implant-filled breast has milk in them. Those things look BUSTED!!!
More photos after the jump! Continue »
Here are some more photos of Christina Aguilera’s milk juggs on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
Poor Christina. All that milk must really hurt her. They look like they’re about to pop. I’m here for you if you need me Christina. My mouth and I are ready when you are.
More photos and vid clip after the jump! Continue »
