April 17th, 2008

After having cheated on wife Cheryl Cole with his hairdresser Aimee Walton back in 2007, the singer’s husband Ashley Cole has finally moved back home.
It is also rumored that he’s made plans for the couple to vacation in the Caribbean where the couple will hopefully have sex again.
Apparently Cheryl Cole has imposed a six-month sex ban for him having cheated on her. Why? Because sex is power, power equals control, and us female always have our trusty vibrator to get us through our sex-less days.







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March 27th, 2008

Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy Cole might be digging the new KitKat Senses chocolate bar, but what she doesn’t dig is other people washing her dirty panties.
She admitted: “I can’t bear other people washing my undergarments. I find it quite violating.
“Even when my mam does the washing, I say, ‘Leave my bits.’”
I don’t see what’s the big deal with someone else washing one’s undergarments. Unless you’re fish taco stinks to high heaven.
Maybe that’s it — Cheryl Cole has a stinky fish taco. A stinky vagina is an automatic deal breaker, regardless of how hot she might.
I once hooked up with this girl at a bar and as soon as those panties I swear I could smell her stinky fish taco from across the room. Needless to say, we didn’t finish what we started. Apparently she thought my Febrezing her taco was offensive.








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March 17th, 2008

Cheryl Cole is so tiny she barely filled out her party dress and almost gave us a nipple flashing while at the Berlington Club the other night.
It’s women like Cheryl that inspire me to give back to the community in unspeakable ways. Mainly, I’d like to feed emaciated female celebs, such as Cheryl and Jaslene, protein shots directed into their throats via penile injection.
I mean, the woman can barely fill out her A-cup. Obviously the women isn’t having her daily protein.
How many of you would like to contribute to Cheryl’s daily protein shots?








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September 17th, 2007

Singer Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud attended the Julien MacDonald London Fashion Week Spring 2008 show in London yesterday and I must say she looks absolutely devine. I could give two craps about their music, but I’d totally watch a movie if she was in it. And my movie I mean porno. Of course.



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