Maxim Magazine has released the 2008 “Hot 100,” of which I’m pretty certain was compiled by one of Pete Doherty’s crackpipe kittens.

Here’s the top 10:

1. Marisa Miller
2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Jessica Biel
4. Eva Longoria
5. Sarah Michelle Gellar
6. Elisha Cuthbert
7. Eva Mendes
8. Christina Aguilera
9. Lindsay Lohan
10. Ashley Tisdale

WTF is up with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lindsay Lohan, and Ashley Tisdale?! For realz. My vagina wouldn’t kiss their lips unless money was involved. Big money.

Did I mention that both Britney Spears (#19), Avril Lavigne (#24), and Kat Von D (#62) beat out Mila Kunis (#81) and Olivia Munn (#99)?!?!?!?!?

Do you hear that? It’s my vagina crying its eyes out.

Check out the Marisa Miller gallery here.

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Avril Lavigne and husband Derek Whibley were recently photographed being served by a uniformed butler while picnicking in Italy.

Seriously, these yuppie tool-bags hired a f— butler. Ugh.  I wish I had a penis so I could piss all over the two of them.

In other news, Derek massaged Avril’s breasts during their picnic.  He was probably checking to see if she got those at Hot Topic, too.

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For some ungodly reason Maxim Magazine has named Avril Lavigne their March cover girl.  How this faux punk c^nt is still around is beyond me.  She’s not hot, and she can’t sing.

As a matter of fact I heard my little brother listening to her song “Girlfriend” and I immediately burnt him some Dead Kennedy’s and The Clash. You know, real punk.   I then handed him a gun and had him shoot the television.

But if skinny talentless skanks are your type, head on over to Maxim Online and check out her other pics.

Avril Lavigne has never been out to catch my attention on account of her being a ginormous tampon, but after these photographs of her rubbing her titties all over her female friend while in Miami have inspired me to give her a second chance.

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