Sexy Sample Admissions Essay Angers Parents

…and I’m sure turns a few on. The New York Times showed the sexy side of college admissions in a recent article discussing some controversy that is swirling around the University of Chicago. Gone are the days of spewing your hopes and aspirations (in 500 words or less) to gain entry into an institution of higher learning–one that will not even begin to equip you for the clustercrap of an economy that new graduates get to tackle. Now the way to get accepted into the college of your dreams…writer a SEX-say. More after the jump.

The Dean of Admissions had a lot of explaining to do after students and parents were not pleased by a sample admissions essay sent out by the school. Just so you know, the tool who wrote this essay was admitted to the university:

“Dear University of Chicago, It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you,” the essay began. “Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple ‘applicant’ to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world?”

The closeness between us was beautiful, it couldn’t have been just me that felt it, I know you felt it too. The intimacy was akin to that of scholar and original text, your depth as a person is astounding! To be honest, I must confess I had already dreamt of a rosy future together, one filled with late nights and long discussions over the Gothic era and the ethical stage of Kierkegaard, we would watch the sunset together and spend every Christmas snuggled in blankets. Eventually we would get older, I would become a well-educated corporate lawyer and you would enrich yourself within the domain of human knowledge. Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me.

“Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me?” Something tells me that intellectual prowess isn’t quite what the author wanted poured on him. Parents and students ultimately received a half-a$$ed apology from the school about the risque essay, but the apology was more geared to telling applicants to chill out and have fun with their essays rather than apologizing for the sexified submission.

Via: Gawker via The New York Times