What Are the Worst Songs of the '00s?

Coming into the final stretch of the ’00s, we’re seeing a lot of decade-engulfing lists: best, worst, most, hottest, viralest.  (Yet not so many lists as I expected, you know?  Because the internet is basically the universe, and if I had to render the internet in three descriptions, they would be “porn,” “slightly clothed girls that are technically not porn,” and “lists.”  Yet it almost seems like the end of the ’90s was listier.  How am I supposed to make sense of what just happened for ten years without lists?)

Idolator has a fun list up now that they’re going to expand every day until the end of the year: “F2K: The 50 Worst Songs of the ’00s.” The editors write, “We remember the decade a little differently—not with poptimist lenses or with whatever beer goggles make you think Kid A isn’t boring, but with cold, hard, honest eyes that see the last 10 years as an irredeemable sh*tpile that makes disco’s final cokefarts look like Woodstock.”

Wowz.  So today’s music sucks and, indeed, has sucked so long that most of us have forgotten how much it sucks.  To the point that music critics have slowly recalibrated their standards Starbucks-style, so that “regular” now gets called “tall,” as it were.  Case in point: Taylor Swift’s Fearless, a completely safe, OK, and forgettable album, scored 4/5 stars and A-’s almost across the critical board.

But as for the worst of the worst, which songs should make the list?  List so far, plus some of my own picks, ATJ.  

Idolator:

50. brokeNCYDE, “Bree Bree”

49. LL Cool J feat. Jennifer Lopez, “Control Myself”

48. The Moldy Peaches, “Who’s Got The Crack”

47. Akon, “Sorry, Blame It On Me”

Here are a few more horses for the race:

Flo Rida feat. will.i.am, “In the Ayer.”

50 Cent, “Wanksta.”

Cascada, “Truly Madly Deeply.”

Drowning Pool, “Bodies.”

Papa Roach, “Last Resort.”

Yung Joc, “It’s Goin’ Down.”

Nickelback, “Figured You Out.”  More to the point though: this.

Bubba Sparxxx, “Ms. New Booty.”

Toby Keith, “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.”

But also: Bright Eyes, “When the President Talks to God.”

Please add you own!