Science: Humanity Will Not Survive the Zombie Invasion

When the zombies attack, how ready will we be?  Probably not very, according to the most up-to-date research.

If society were ever attacked by zombies, we would probably be doomed, and quickly. That was the conclusion of two university researchers in Ottawa, Ontario, who set up mathematical models hypothesizing zombie attacks as infectious diseases with the well-known characteristics of zombie biology from popular fiction.

Get a job, two researchers in Ottawa!  Unless one of you is Will Smith or Sanjay Gupta, where do you get off speaking with any authority about the zombie menace?  Haven’t you ever seen a movie?  The zombies literally never win.  And what’s more: during the zombie apocalypse, most of us will become zombies.  So maybe think about that before you automatically start rooting against them.  More findings of this important research, ATJ.  

Zombies are more threatening than virulent diseases because they can regenerate (unless decapitated or incinerated, of course). More troubling was the researchers’ presumption that zombies move slowly, as in older movies, but in recent fiction, they’re super-quick, making them nearly invincible.

Which never quite made sense.  A disease that makes you faster, stronger, and largely invincible?  Where can I sign up?  Why do humans even bother to resist becoming zombies?  ”Oooh they’re ravenous, unthinking ids incarnate, devoid of their essential humanity.”  Whatever, Gandhi.  Happy World Zombie Day.

Source: Yahoo! News via Geekologie.