Video: Everything You Thought You Knew About Kissing Is Wrong

This is truly today’s funniest thing.  ”Lean down over her and begin to suck the air out of her mouth and lungs.”  They were like, we’re making a guide to kissing – somebody get Vince Shlomi on the phone right now!  (ShamWow guy?  Kissed a hooker and she bit his tongue?  Thus, he is bad at kissing?  OK, we’re on the same page.)

Did you know that exactly 91% of men don’t know if she wants to be kissed?  Did you know that you’re supposed to rock your head back and forth slowly and gently on your first kiss?  Did you know that if your boyfriend is too goody-goody, you may have to train him to act like a bad boy by, uh, straightening his pant legs out as he leans against a car?  (You tell me what’s going on at 0:46 because I have no idea.)  Your girl will be like, why are you turning on this Robert Palmer 8-track and moving your head all around while kissing me at intervals?  I’M DOING THE MUSIC KISS, OBVIOUSLY.  Only use the Music Kiss on girls who are special to you, or you might get a reputation.  For being an idiot.  And don’t forget to break out one of these every so often!  Everything about this video is absurd, after the jump.  

Via FilmDrunk.