Early Morning Mistress: Kate Beckinsale's "Sexiest Woman in the World" Esquire Shoot

Yo, so it’s not very early in the morning anymore, this I realize.  However, I had to go to an eye doctor to deal with how my eyes don’t function that great, and they put the dilation sauce in them so that my pupils would get big and flat like a laserdisc and now I can’t look at any light source very long, and… it’s just a mess.  I apologize for that rare, harrowing glimpse into my dramatic “offline” personal life.

However, on the plus side, as you may have heard, proto-cougar Kate Beckinsale was named the world’s sexiest woman by Esquire.  I’m actually not sure why, since she hasn’t done anything major this year, but I put full trust in Esquire’s choice – after all, they are the smartest boob magazine out there.  Still though, this is 2009, and you expect me to believe that a woman can just waltz into the title of “world’s sexiest” without defeating a single Decepticon?  Has this “Kate Beckinsale” been approved by Russell Brand or at least Criss Angel (Mindfreak)?  She was in some movie about Korea with Leonardo Da Vinci?  And Pearl Harbor what?  Is that an app or something?  Whatever, Dad.  The stills from the shoot went up yesterday, after the jump.  

Via Egotastic!