Guidos, Then and Now: A Look Back at Our Internet’s Best Guido Videos

You thought guidos were over.  They definitely had a huge internet thing going in that 2006-07 era.  You gave them that.  ”F*ckin’ skanks!  Jager bombs!”  Remember that?  But our national priorities change, sometimes drastically, you reasoned.  There is a recession.  Barack Obama doesn’t care about orange people.  (I mean “guido” here in the “My New Haircut” sense rather than the limiting, strictly Italian sense.  If you somehow missed the whole guido craze.)

But they’ve been quietly regrouping.  Breeding and multiplying behind closed doors, out of the public eye, in filthy public beach bathrooms and filthy nightclub bathrooms and other various filthy places where people may go to the bathroom around New Jersey.  They’ve traded spray tan for bronzer and Jager for Patron, allowing them to walk amongst us unseen.  They bide their time.  But they’re coming for you.  They’re coming up to Boston, and they’re going to beat up your f*cking roommate and sleep in his f*cking bed.  INCLUDING YOU, NICK!  Witness the new face of Guidom, plus a look back at the best videos of the guidos that were, after the jump.  

The end is best.  ”All right, Frank.”  The guy with no shirt and sunglasses inside is the voice of reason here.  All right, Frank.  You’ve made your point.  Overplaying your hand will only make you look weak, and then the Nicks of the world win.

I love this video.  It’s like the dancing guidos are Sims and you’re drunkenly clicking on them and making them walk and dance around erratically, pantomiming meaningless gestures to no one in particular.  Their interactions do not make sense, in the human context.

And two fat guidos dancing?  Sure, two fat guidos dancing:

And oh, sure.  Let’s have some My New Haircut.  This was really funny at the time, remember.  Someday, the aliens will see this and Future Us will try to explain it like, see, some humans liked to spray a chemical agent on their skin to turn it an orange hue and also eat pure protein extract in order to become cartoonish-looking.  Then they drank a different chemical agent to make them more stupid.  And the aliens will be like, haha what?  Must be one of those human things LOL.  Let’s eat them all.

Top one from Videogum.