Every Man Gets to Like 2 Bravo Shows: “NYC Prep” Finale 2Nite!! – My Predictions

You don’t watch NYC Prep right?  Ha, me neither.  Like I can even watch those shows.  Is it supposed to be “ironic” or something?  More like “gay.”

But I mean.  If you did watch it, or did want to watch it.  Tonight is the finale on Bravo at 9PM (8 central).  Do you guys think Jessie is the most annoying?  I used to think so, but now I’m not sure.  Also, PC.  I wanted to think he was just pretending to be “like that.”  But now I’m afraid he’s actually like that.  Because when he didn’t invite Jessie who is hello his best friend?  To the party?  That grated me the wrong way, PC.  I thought you should have acted more maturely in that circumstance.  In this episode, you will probably want to redeem yourself, to me.

Here’s how it works with Bravo.  Bravo channel is like the girl version of A&E channel, however, every man is allowed to like two Bravo shows. Millionaire Matchmaker – that is a given.  I chose NYC Prep for my second.  Sorry, Miami Social.  What will happen in the finale?  Spoilers from my mind, after the jump.  

Jessie will hear about PC’s party of course (the Bravo people will probably blow his cover) and she will stomp over to some restaurant called Vapor or Cafe and meet him.  Three hours later he’ll show up and be all, oh Jessie, you make such drama out of everything, it was just a little shindig with my weirdo vampire friends and I didn’t think you’d want to come anyway!  (True.)

And she’ll say, no PC, actually, clearsighted reflection has caused me to realize you’re a really bad friend in general, to the point where maybe I don’t want you to be my friend anymore.  And PC will say, oh.  Oh no.  Geez, wow.  But in his mind he will say, it is for the best, as I am going on a spiritual ascent up to the highest reaches of social status Manhattan nirvana, and I must be pure of douche-mind and douche-soul, forsaking the trappings of my old life.  I’m afraid that includes you, Jessie.  I must journey alone from here.  Don’t try to follow me.  And he will fly away, far far away, to college somewhere in Manhattan (NYU) where he will continue to do all the same things but with more cocaine, eventually graduating from conflicted, compensating, semi-self-loathing see-through twit to …  simply “douche,” which is a generic word for a generic sort of jerk.  However, I am still rooting for this not to happen.

Sebastian practically wrote himself out of this series, in what may have been the savviest move of any of the characters.  Come on, urge the Bravo producers, we cast you as the guy who slays a ton of chicks, why can you not slay so much as a chick?  I predict in this episode Sebastian will also not slay a chick.

Taylor sort of had her big moment in the last episode, so she’ll just kind of float back down to public school life, settling somewhere near the middle-top of the cool kid class, from which perch she can have her pick of all the most terrible dudes in the land.  Girl loves to have options from among terrible dudes.

Finally, from the previews it looks like trouble is afoot at Operation Smile, the organization that helps get operations for children with cleft palates.  Jessie is the lead Smiler.  She personally operates on many of the deformed children.  And Camille really wants to be in Operation Smile because it is a charity that gives the greatest gift of all, which is the gift of becoming better looking.  JK – Camille wants to be in it because of Harvard.  And everyone will stop donating to Operation Smile because the stupid squabbling on this show has made it look like the most petty, superficial, self-congratulatory charity of all, and the cleft money will dry up.  All the little Vietnamese children will cluster around Camille’s townhouse door in the Upper Whateverside of Manhattan and when she opens it, they will not say a word, because their beclefted faces will not allow them to speak, but their eyes will say, “You did this to us.”

Furthermore, Kelli.  Who knows?  She’ll just keep doing normal rich people whatever stuff for the next 60 or so years.