Another Man Down: Michael Phelps Loses

Dammit, infallible American sports heroes!  What the f*ck, ok?  First Lance Armstrong lost the Tour de France, the race he practically founded.  Now, Michael Phelps has lost his first major race in four years.  And not only that, he got his world record beat by almost a full second in the 200m freestyle.  By a German!

Hey Michael Phelps!  Suddenly too preoccupied with your skanks and sandwiches to do your godd*mn job of being the best swimmer in the world ever?  Got kind of tired in the last 20m of the race, you say?  Did smoking on your bong make you tired?  Did having so much marijuana smoke in your brains and muscles and such make you feel tired in that race, Michael Phelps, godd*mmit?  

But wait!  Did the foreigners only win because they were cheating?

[Known German] Biedermann wore a 100% polyurethane swimsuit which has been worn by all but one of the individual swimming champions in Rome. Phelps wore a part-polyurethane costume.

The German strongly hinted that he may not have won gold had it not been for his suit.

“I hope there will be a time I can beat Michael Phelps without the suit of course and I hope that it could be next year or the next two years but I also think it’s not all about the suit,” he added.

Well, I guess that settles it – Michael Phelps actually won the race!  Go ahead, Michael Phelps.  Go ahead and just keep eating those Meatball Marinaras until you’re too drunk to drive your tacky f*cking Escalade and then show up late to the Olympics the next day so you can lose to someone who actually knows the hell what kind of clothes to wear to a swim meet.

Source: BBC.