Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman: Photo Album of a Young Romance

I’ve sort of been off the grid with this story, but I guess where an old romance folded, a new one blossoms: Jon Gosselin and little 22-year-old Hailey Glassman.  This is their story, told through actual possible dialogue and pictures of their terrible clothing/Hailey’s Facebook-documented drug habits.

Hailey: Wow!  I can’t believe I’m meeting Jon Gosselin, the biggest recently-divorced celebrity in the world!

Jon: Yes.  Word to that.

Hailey: What are your thoughts on marijuana?  I would like to exhale marijuana smoke into your mouth, and together we will giggle and pretend to be young again, or rather you will pretend.  Do you like my hair?  I haven’t washed it in weeks!  Look how different I am from your wife!  

Jon: You are so young and carefree!  I’ve always loved children.  Will you come away with me, to France?

Hailey: I love France!  Amsterdam is my favorite city!  Here, wear this silkscreened shirt.  It has a big ferocious Asian tiger on it, just like you!  Also, this earring.

Jon: It’s true that these are the types of clothes hip, rich people wear.

[Before leaving for St. Tropez, Glassman (who was arrested in 2005 for marijuana possession) changed her Facebook status to "In a relationship."

They made their relationship public by holding hands Saturday before boarding Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier's yacht in France.]

Ten years later…

Hailey: I thought we might go to Shoney’s tonight, since it’s our anniversary…

Jon: Shoney’s??  You want to go to f*cking Shoney’s?!  What do you think we are, middle class?  Suddenly you’re too good for Arby’s, is that it?

Hailey:  I only dated you to get famous!  I could have been on The Real World!  I could have been on Bad Girls Club!  Now they won’t even let me on the premises of Food Lion!  You ruined me!!

["I think after realizing she had a connection to Jon through her father and that Jon and Kate's marriage was rocky, she saw an opportunity to get famous," one of Glassman's pals tells Us.

James Appleton, who describes himself as her "hookup friend," tells Us Glassman dropped him abruptly just before news of the pair broke.

"A couple days later a mutual friend was like, 'Oh hey, your girl Hailey is pretty famous. She's dating this older guy who has like eight kids,'" says Appleton, who met her during a 2007 spring break trip to Acapulco, Mexico.]

Meanwhile… Kate Gosselin is passed out on a pool chair, a bottle of SPF2 and a bottle of Bacardi on the table next to her (both empty).  When she wakes up, she will find that all the Xanax has gone missing from her “nutrition cabinet” again.

Source: The Superficial, Us.