We Have Found It: The World's Oldest Schlong

They found the oldest “penis-like” structure ever!  It’s on a 400 million-year-old armored fish called a placoderm, and it is a bone that is made of bona fide bone, rather than just tissue that can get excited.  The team had long suspected that these fish had evolved boners, but…

“When we announced we’d found some structures in the pelvic fin that suggested copulation, we hadn’t found the business end of how they were doing it.”

Probably missionary, as this was, after all, the first time a species ever f*cked.  But the scientists had discovered this specimen, who went to his fossily grave with his love game in play, in 2001.  What took them so long to be like, “wait, is that a d*ck?”

She says the team originally discounted the bone as the reproductive organ because they thought it was part of the pelvic gurdle.

On closer inspection, Trinajstic says they realised it was a sexual organ.

“We were surprised because it’s so big,” she says.

400 million years and it’s still a surprise every time!

Trinajstic says the clasper, which was attached to the pelvic organ would have been erectile.

I’ll bet it would have been, but after 8 years of you not really doing anything around there, a guy’s gotta move on, lady.  The placoderm don’t take it out because it’s pretty.

Source: Yahoo! News.