Telepathic Goddess Incarnate Sues Hugh Hefner for $3 Billion

What happens when extremely insane people trying to use our nation’s laws against other people?  It wastes everyone’s money!  But you know what?  I’d be more than willing to pay $3 in tax money so that this suit against Hugh Hefner could see the inside of a courtroom.  The would-be plaintiff, Sheri Denise Allred, begins…

Yes sir I am asking for 2 3 billion dollars [ed: yes, there is a 2 typed, crossed out, and replaced with a handwritten 3] from Mr. Hugh Hefner.  He’s been after me since I was a baby.  Along with a pedifile organization here in L.A When I was about 5 yrs. Old He mysteriously was underneath my bed and he grabbed my arm and said that he and forsay the beatles and he mentioned the names of them.  I asked like in my head ,since I’m a hat everyone in the world heres my thought’s, a good way to establish peace.  And so I braced myself against the wall and eventually he let go.

Come along for a very special ride with Sheri, Hugh, J. Paul Getty, John Gotti, Uncle Bill, someone named “Don Hitler,” Walt Disney, “the biggest hat in the world” (this is Sheri), Jesus Christ, and “Venus Aphrodite Demilo the goddess” (this is also Sheri)…  

It’s not completely clear what is going on here, but it all started when Hugh Hefner dated Sheri’s mom.  Then he became either involved with or a sworn enemy of the “morphodites,” which is some kind of group or species that “like to eat p*ssy.”  Hugh Hefner and the Gotti family are involved in a top-secret “pedifile” cabal that is out to torment Sheri and/or somehow access the Getty oil.

On a different, more supernatural plane, Sheri is the “Goddess Venus,” friend of “odeseyues God of wine and Zues,” all of whom join forces against the unholy power of Hugh Hefner, who is a centaur.

The centaur is supposed to be Hugh Hefner at one point in life remember how we were horses and the playboy was a horse in Hugh’s little gathering of for say the finest half horse.

But Sheri makes two compelling arguments for her credibility:

I sir Judge am not a dope addict.

And also

I’m a graduate of school and every university you can think of.

Later in the suit, she claims to be suing for “0 billion dollars.”

You really should give it look.  Courtesy of TMZ.