Police Bring OxyContin Samurai Sword Walgreens Robber to Justice

As of yesterday, painkillers users have been coping with nothing so much as bad news – a federal advisory board suggested that Vicodin and Percocet be taken off the market and other painkillers get smacked with reduced dosages.

One Denver teenager, not content to let Uncle Sam and his parents’ medicine cabinet determine how much OxyContin he could or could not have, took matters into his own hands…  

19-year-old Dylan Lee Suomi found the hoard of gold, but first the noble knight had to slay the dragon with his Excalibur, ne’er sundered.

The robber jumped a counter at the Walgreens at 360 S. Colorado Blvd. and threatened employees with a 30-inch long samurai sword, police said.

The robber ran off with a cache of the painkiller Oxycontin but was chased down by police about 100 yards away.

He is being held at the Arapahoe County Jail in lieu of $50,000 bail on suspicion of aggravated robbery of a controlled substance and felony menacing, police said.

Somebody should have invested in a trustier steed more fleet of foot for the escape.

Source: Denver Post.