Chris Brown Beats The Charges; Cops A Plea

Chris “Beat her down” Brown did not want to spend any time in jail and get a beat down in his tiny brown buthole–and copped a plea with the prosecution yesterday afternoon.

To hear the details and see Rihanna in court keep reading after the jump>>>

Rihanna didn’t even need to show up to testify because Chris Brown and his attorney Mark Gregaros showed up early to court and went into chambers with the prosecution to work out the details of Brown’s plea bargain.  There’s much speculation that this happened because the photos that no one has seen of Rihanna’s face after the altercation were even more damning than the ones released to the public.

Whatever the reason, Brown got 5 years probation.  He will serve 180 days hard labor in his home state of Virgina and must immediately enroll in a domestic violence counseling program.  He must also stay 50-yards away from Princess Rihanna unless the two are at the same public event and then he must stay 10-yards away from her grace.  If any of these terms are violated Brown faces up to 4 years in prison.  So for the sake of persecuting women beaters everywhere, let’s hope he accidentally gets closer to Rihanna at the Grammys next year.  It would be the anniversary of him going all Ike Turner on her, so the timing would be perfect.