Daggering: The Terrifying New Dance Craze That Will Snap Your Penis in Half

Swine flu is now out.  But the newest health scare to sweep North America has waltzed into the picture just in time, and it is called “daggering.”  It is a dance, but like most dances, it is also a social disease.  But unlike most social diseases, it will break your penis right off.

Doctors in Jamaica attribute daggering to a threefold increase in broken penises. As a result, government officials have banned any type of media promoting the dance, which simulates rough sex. Apparently, those who try to dagger in the bedroom—the same rowdy moves minus the “simulation”—are getting hurt. 

Yes, while having sex, people are simulating a dance that simulates having sex.  And they are paying for their folly.  Daggering explained and demonstrated, after the jump.  

Newsweek asked a professor of urology (weiner science) about how daggering might cause injury:

What exactly constitutes a broken penis?

A broken penis, also known as a fractured penis, is due to a tear in the tunica albuginea, which is the covering of the erectile tissue of the penis.

What does it actually take to break one?

A sudden bending of the penis when it’s in the erect state. We see it in men who are having intercourse and then just are thrusting. They miss the vagina and then they hit the [pubic] bone and their penis bends in half quickly and it fractures. They get a sudden, sharp pain and it gets black and blue. If you operate on them, you see a tear in the tunic covering the erectile tissue.

For the love of God no!  

Is a broken penis preventable?

It’s a low incident in general. I think it’s preventable if men are more careful during intercourse—but I mean, in the heat of the moment, it happens.

“It happens” is not a sufficient explanation for breaking your penis, to my mind.  How many penises must get broken before the dagger madness stops??

And here’s a Mr. Vegas single, called “Daggering,” that is safe for work, but obviously unsafe for trying at home.  To me, it doesn’t look any different from any other club-style grind, except that usually it’s considered better etiquette to approach a lady with a gentleman’s half-mast rather than the blunt instrument at the ready.  And that way, no one gets hurt.

 

Source: Newsweek via The Frisky.