Do Bald and Gray-Haired Men Get All the Honeys?

A British scholar is suggesting that baldness and gray hair may actually get you laid, contravening the assumption that has powered thousands of years of wigs, dyes, and transplants.  

Men have evolved to attract women. Because only some men go bald, we must assume that different women are attracted differently. Some women will be attracted to young men, but young men are untried and therefore risky, so some women will seek sugar daddies instead. Mating with sugar daddies invokes a different set of risks but the trophy wife is nonetheless making a rational choice – one that may well have been rewarded preferentially in the Stone Age – to which she is in part guided by baldness in her man.

If you’re bald or gray, good news!  You will attract superficial b*tches who want to use you for your money.  Though this is maybe kind of a simplistic theory.  But according to the writer, it all started 75,000 years ago…  

But Darwin showed that hairlessness was proof of a different type of evolution, not by natural selection but by sexual selection. Under natural selection, individuals survive if they are adapted to their environments: a brown bear, being conspicuous, would not last long in the Arctic, so it evolves into a polar bear. Sexual selection is not concerned with the environment but with sex: individuals breed only if they find a mate, so animals have to attract one…

We human beings, too, are highly selected sexually, but in our case it is women who are the peacocks: the more beautiful they are, the greater the number and quality of the men who court them. This is why, some 75,000 years ago, we made our last two evolutionary advances: we lost our body hair and we invented art.

We lost the body hair because chicks who were less hairy could wear pretty necklaces and makeup and stuff and guys would be more likely to notice the flyness of said honeys, says the author.  Plausible enough, though other lady primates don’t need to put on all that makeup just to look easy.  Would a boy chimp prefer a girl chimp wearing a necklace?  An interesting experiment.  Scientists, please do something about this.

Anyway, gray hair and baldness indicate that you are old and probably the boss: the silverback gorilla gets all the chicks.  It signals to women who want money and security that you have put in your time in this earth place.  That is the theory, anyway.  If you are bald and also poor, things will probably not work out for you, though.

Source: The Times of London.