Russian Girls Go Wild Drinking Airplane Soap and Exploding Penises with Firecrackers

Sometimes I wish Russians wouldn’t do so many nutty things all the time so that I wouldn’t have to choose which stories to write about.  Because on the one hand, drinking all the soap in the airplane lavatory, blacking out, and trying to bite a flight attendant’s leg is pretty nutty.  But on the other hand, getting your boyfriend drunk and then exploding a set of firecrackers tied to his penis is also pretty nutty!  Might as well give you both:  

Let’s start with

A respected Russian artist was arrested after mixing wine and prescription drugs before allegedly drinking liquid soap and attacking flight attendants on a trans-Atlantic flight, Daily Mail reports.

British-based Galina Rusanova is accused of punching and kicking flight attendants and – at one point – ‘snapping like a dog’ while trying to bite a crew member’s leg.

Rusanova appeared at court in Bangor, Maine, on Friday, charged with assault and interference with a flight crew.

Nobody appreciates art anymore!  Another great detail:

According to the FBI, Rusanova went to Los Angeles to visit a man she met on the internet and was returning to London on Wednesday.

We need to be drilling this into our children’s heads: this is the type of person you meet on the internet.  Do not let him or her into your home or you’re going to have to spend like $20 refilling your soap dispensers.

Finally, poetically, the woman presented her defense:

After her arrest she spent the night at Eastern MaineMedical Center for observation and is said to have told FBI agents: ‘It’s typical of me. I sometimes do crazy things.’

The time-honored “sorry I party” justification.  Gal’s a firecracker.

And speaking of firecrackers…

Another woman in Russia became upset when he boyfriend refused to marry her and instead began moving out of their home.  Poor guy had commitment phobia.  But that fear was misplaced – what he really ought to have developed was fireworks-being-tied-to-your-d*ck phobia.

When Alik started moving out Kira suggested that they had a farewell dinner. After a hearty meal and some heavy drinking Alik fell asleep. The girlfriend tied several firecrackers to Alik’s penis and exploded them. The man was rushed to intensive care and doctors are reported to be fighting for his life.

Meanwhile, Kira faces a dozen years in the gulag.  But no one will call her guilty of not getting her point across.

This zany duet courtesy of MOSNews.