Man vs. Cheese in Chuck E. Cheese Assault

Chuck E. Cheese’s is a valuable institution in our society.  Indeed, many children have their first worldly lessons here.  Hard work earns you poor rewards.  Life is a series of frustrating obstacle courses and suffocating tunnel mazes.  Pizza can be bad.  Giant rodents are a sign of unsanitary conditions, and they should never be trusted. So it is beyond me why a man would disrupt his child’s formative Cheese’s experience by assaulting Chuck E. Cheese… 

Authorities say 34-year-old Trahan Pires of Fairhaven ripped off the mascot’s head piece, then pointed a finger and yelled at the man wearing the mouse costume because he thought he had pinned his 11-year-old son against a video game.

Nooo!  He broke the fourth wall!!  Can you assault Mickey Mouse?  Can you assault Santa Claus?  The child will always wonder because his father violated the divide between fiction and reality and assaulted Chuck E. Cheese.  That is the real crime here.

Carvalho, the man in the mouse suit, told police he put his arms out to get through a crowd of children trying to knock him over and never grabbed anyone. A witness agreed with the 19-year-old Carvalho’s account.

A judge fined Pires $500 on Monday after rejecting the prosecution’s request for a six-month jail sentence.

Ok, the guy shouldn’t have done it, but six months in the can for yelling at a dude?  Get real.

Source: WBZTV via Consumerist.