Only Aliens Can Save Us from the Energy Crisis, Says Completely Serious Man

“Energy lobbyist” Stephen Bassett believes, like most people, that the U.S. government has extraterrestrial space vehicles in its possession but is keeping this information confidential. The crazy thing is, he thinks we can actually use this technology to solve the energy crisis!

The power source, he said, behind a flying saucer the weight of a tractor-trailer which hurtles through galaxies at 20,000 miles per hour is astronomical.

“What is the energy system operating that craft?” Bassett said. “They’re not burning kerosene. It eliminates oil. It eliminates coal. If it’s as good as we think it is, it transforms everything.”

That’s plainly ridiculous.  How are we supposed to use alien spaceships to solve the energy crisis when everyone knows that the energy crisis is caused by Jews selling all our energy to Russia in order to fund another 9/11? 

Believers that the truth regarding ET technology is currently being covered up, Bassett says, are eagerly awaiting for President Obama to declassify the information the government is holding on the subject.

He says that Obama ”has the intelligence to handle it,” while at the same time being “sensitive to the concerns of the military intelligence community.”

Indeed, it would be unfortunate if the government’s attempts to solve the energy crisis got in the way of the Underground Pentagon’s plans for an American invasion of Venus.  But why not use alien technology to solve all our nation’s problems while we’re at it?

His theory is that the melting polar ice caps would be a thing of the past. There would be no more ozone hole, while the price of electricity would plummet to almost nil.

The Iraq War?  Over as we know it.  Gay people?  Aliens have the technology to marry gays in a way that would not threaten straight marriage.  Detroit?  Could be wiped off the map.  Happy Meals?  All I can say at this point is “Dora the Explorer tie-in.”

Source: Consumer Energy Report.