Douchebag of the Day: Ben, Some New Editor Here at F-Listed

Hello friends and fools,

My name is Ben and I’m starting as a new editor here at F-Listed right now–wait… ok, now.

Who is this clown, coming in here with his words and sentences, you ask.  Here’s a little background: in my previous career, I worked in a sort of “hired gun” capacity, in the sense that contractors would hire me to gun down targeted individuals (with a gun).  But in these difficult times of recession, fewer and fewer mafia dons and jealous wives are willing to pay to send their enemies to the carefree bliss of death.

Yet the internet neither slows nor sleeps, so I’m hitching my star to it instead.  Going forward, I’ll be solving my problems with helping hands and happy hugs rather than gin and rage.  Other things you should know about me:

I have four children by six different women–their names are Sammy Hagar, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, and Martin Van Halen–and I drive a Volkswagen Cabrio welded to the top of a tank.  When I honk the horn, it plays “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden, which is also my ringtone.  But I may change it.  I am an Aries.

Now that you know at least five fun lies about me, let me hear from you!  We’ll be adding plenty of new content to F-Listed in the coming weeks, so now’s your chance to tell me what kinds of things you’d like to see featured on the site.  Send all questions, ideas, and ringtone suggestions to bodonnell@flisted.com.

But if you’re trying to start something, why don’t you come over here and say it to my face, in, uh, the comments section.