DO NOT WANT (IN MY VAG): BACONLUBE™

Alright, will one of you please be so kind as to explain to me the allure of bacon-inspired products? I mean, yeah, bacon’s good, but there’s plenty of better things to pine over in this world. For example: beer. And marijuana. And White Castle cheeseburgers. And pretty much raspberry-flavored anything. I mean, do we really need a bacon-flavored personal lubricant? Answer: No.

Via BaconSalt.com via !!omgblog!! via Jewssip:

As many of you know, we’re huge bacon lovers here at J&D’s. We now make Bacon Salt, Baconnaise and Bacon Lip Balm. That last one seemed like a stretch at first, but now that bacon has successfully made the jump from food to personal care, we’re pushing it even further.

With that said, we’re happy to introduce our newest product, baconlube™. It’s not for sale yet, but we’re looking for early product testers to put our “Everything should taste like bacon” tagline to the test. Please email us at keepitsizzlin@baconsalt.com to get on our beta tester list.

LMAO. I kinda want to get on the list for shits and giggles, but I would never ever EVER use that product AT ALL. Bacon is delicious, but it’s also very pungent taste and smell, and there’s no reason that bacon should be mixed with the smell and taste of semen. I would, however, love to just own the bottle. Just because it’s effing bacon-flavored lube. I mean, c’mon!!!!

How do you feel about this product? Would you ever consider using it?????

Array of bacon-inspired gear below.