The Spring Time Bump 'N Grind

Post-Valentine’s Day, Spring Break, flowers blooming, warmer temps, and mini-skirts (pictures) makes for some sexy times. This is the time of year you are either hooking up with someone new, re-kindling something  old, or just going out and getting a little of everything. All of a sudden, you’re sleeping naked all the time and you can’t keep up with the traffic in and out of your bedroom. Well, maybe the spring isn’t that automatic.

The time is now. April is sexy. Some months, I don’t even feel like chasing tail all the time, but some months, I’m like a leg humping dog. Here is my list of horny months and why:

1) December – There’s something about hooking up around Christmas that is appealing for everyone. It’s like no one’s a stranger. Also, I’ve always loved the “wanna sit on Santie’s lap?” line.

2) February – Not just because of Valentines, but also because of Anti-Valentines, people that have casual sex in defiance of the holiday. Since I’ve never had a Valentine, I don’t mind letting a girl use me in protest.

3) April – Things start to heat up. Beach trips begin. Clothes are being shed. For guys, the re-introduction of mini-skirts is a shirt call to attention.

4) September – Is it the kids going back to school? The leaves falling? (Maybe even football season?) Who knows? Never question lots of sex.

5) March – Going back to Spring, because it hits earlier in some places. If you live in Florida, your sex season has already started back by mid-March.

6) October – Same principle as before, the leaves don’t fall in the South until October. Rednecks in Gatlinburg, TN are shaking the walls most, in October.

7) May – It’s spring, it’s hot, people are getting married. This one’s for the girls.

8 ) June – Nothing makes a girl sleep around desperately for a few months, like seeing all of her best friends get married, recently.

9) August – Better get those last romps at the beach out of your system. You might not see that waitress again until next year!

10) January – This is not lower, because the sex is typically after the ball drops on New Years.

11) July – So hot, want to touch the heiney, but it’s too sweaty.

12) November – It might be a long month, but guys are watching football and basketball. Also, you lose a weekend to the family, unless you are from Arkansas.