F-Listed's Sexpert Q&A: How to Give Your Penis the Happy Ending It Deserves

Q - Hi, I may be a little to young, but I am 15 years old, and I have a girlfriend. I have been dating this girl for the past 3 years, and we have had sex 4 times. Sex has been great, but there is one problem. Sometimes I feel really uncomfortable when we’re having sex, and I never “finish,” while she does. Any advice?

Some music to pass the time. Lyrics might be NSFW.

A – If there’s one truth I’ve found to ring true for most individuals is that sex only gets better with time, whether that be as one gets older or as a relationship flourishes. That being said, if there are 35-year-olds out there who have yet to find out exactly what “mind-blowing sex” means, then it’s safe to assume neither does the average 15-year-old.

For now, let’s forget about “finishing,” and instead focus our attention on having fun. Avoid all distractions, and concentrate more on the physical contact.  Focusing one’s attention on something that is not always guaranteed, such as climaxing, will add more stress and anxiety to the situation.

Not only will this approach be beneficial to you, but also your partner. While your girlfriend might be telling the truth, according to statistics by the sex educators over at SexualityEducation.com, 22 percent of women say they always orgasm when they have sex. Interestingly enough, 44 percent of men say their female partners always orgasm when they have sex. In other words, chances are she could be bluffing. 

By being less goal-oriented, and concentrating your mind and body on the physical, chances greatly increase for the two of you to have mind-blowing sex. Scientific studies suggest that orgasms are more the product of mental stimulation than physical. It is for this reason that we can orgasm and cum while dreaming in our sleep.

Clear Your Mind

First things first, what is making you uncomfortable? It is important that you take the time to answer this question, otherwise it will loom over you while making sexy times with your lady friend. Make sure you are honest when having conversations with yourself.

Thoughts —  like, Am I too skinny? Am I too fat? Am I eating her out the right way? Ouch, too much teeth! — can distract one from enjoying themselves in the heat of the moment. The best advice I can give to overcome mental hang-ups is to listen to your intuition. Feel out the situation and trust your instincts. At first, things may seem rocky, but with time you will master the craft of lovemaking and how to please both your partner and yourself. 

Cast aside all negative thoughts and instead concentrate on that which brings you pleasure– the warmth of her mouth sucking on your manhood, those tricks she does with her tongue, the softness of her breasts. No need to rush. The average time for a woman to orgasm takes an average of 15 – 20 minutes. Take the time and make sure to please each other with foreplay.

Build Tension, Increase Hunger

Foreplay doesn’t need to take place right before you physically put the puzzle together. If you don’t have the opportunity to see your lady friend tonight, take the time to e-mail or IM her. Talk to her. Find out what she likes. Tell her what you like, too. Presuming your girl is around your age range, chances are she doesn’t have too much experience herself. Even if she’s done the whole football team, again, chances are those meatheads don’t have much experience either. 

IM her and ask her what makes her all wet. Tell her your fantasies. I say this, bare in mind, with the presumption that your girlfriend is as sexually curious and vocal as yourself. Not everyone has the same level of openness. Communication is vital in a relationship, but so is respect, so be sure not to put excess pressure on your partner. Give it time. Most people let down their guard when they finally feel comfortable. Reality check: They might never feel comfortable with you and you might never feel comfortable with them. It’s a matter of basic compatibility and not to be taken personally.

Exercise Your Kegels

Strengthening your pelvic floor muscles with daily Kegel exercises increases blood flow to the region, resulting in stronger, more intense orgasms. To locate your pelvic muscles, try and stop the flow the next you are taking a piss. The muscle used to stop the flow is the pelvic floor muscle.

To exercise this muscle, simple contract that muscle and hold for three counts (not while peeing). Release and relax. Repeat contractions and release five times for a full set. Repeat sets no more than three to four times a day.

No matter what girl you partner with, if you want to have remarkable, mind-blowing sex, here’s the most important detail: discretion. If your inner voice has the strength to admit you want to toss your girlfriend’s salad before she tosses yours, it’s likely it could play out that way if you do the wise thing and keep all those details to yourself. With time, it’s okay to share your experience with your future partners, but that’s not comparable to you get shit-faced drunk and word vomiting about your sexual exploits to your guy friends. If you do, at least refrain from name dropping.

Of course, if any of you have any questions or thoughts they’d like to share, feel free to hit me up at mmartinez@flisted.com. Nothing is off limits!

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed