Facebook Might Give You Cancer and Make You Retarded

How’s the saying go, correlation does not necessarily prove causation? Yeah, apparently some of Dr. Nick Riviera‘s peers haven’t ever heard this phrase before. 

More ridiculousness this way!

Psychologist Dr. Aric Sigman says social networking sites, such as Facebook and MySpace, could increase a person’s chance of developing cancer, heart disease, dementia, and strokes.

Via The Daily News UK (via Current.com):

Emailing people rather than meeting up with them may have wide-ranging biological effects, said psychologist Dr Aric Sigman. 

Increased isolation could alter the way genes work and upset immune responses, hormone levels and the function of arteries. It could also impair mental performance.

‘There does seem to be a difference between “real presence” and the virtual variety,’ Dr Sigman added.

Some genes, including ones involved with the immune system and responses to stress, acted differently according to how much social interaction a person had with others.

Dr Sigman added: ‘Social networking sites should allow us to embellish our social lives, but what we find is very different.

You know what could also cause cancer, heart disease, dementia, and strokes? Being a fat-ass that spends all day eating Pringles in front of their TV and computer monitors, and never eats healthy or goes to the gym. Dang, I should be a doctor. I’m an effing genius!