Stories Of The Absurd: Vaccine May Cure Obesity Epidemic

Researchers have been able to narrow down what they believe to be the cause of obesity and it’s not lack of exercise and poor diet.  It turns out, researchers believe that they have isolated the cause, a virus.  Yes, you can catch fat.  Of all the things I figured I should be afraid of contracting, obesity was not on the list.>>>

Because the virus stems from something you can catch, it can also be cured.  Researchers are now working to develop a vaccine to help isolate any exposure and contraction of the obesity gene.

io9 reports:

There are approximately 50 members of the adenovirus family, and they cause up to 5% of respiratory tract infections each year, ranging from the common cold to severe pneumonia. Some strains can also cause eye infections. Ad-36 has not been linked to any specific disease to date.

Early research found that 30% of obese people were infected with Ad-36, while only 11% of non-obese people were infected. New research finds that Ad-36 has a direct effect on human fat stem cells. The virus infects the fatty tissue and increases replication, differentiation, and accumulation of fat cells. Ultimately, this leads to larger fat cells, and more of them. The virus also increases lipid sensitivity and decreases leptin secretion of the new fat cells. However, the weight gain was not permanent in every case, lasting only long enough for the infected person to build up resistance to the virus.

And there you have it. If you’re morbidly overweight you’re not a disgusting, lazy fat pig. Quite the contrary, if you’re super fat you’re now a victim, marred by disease and illness and should be pitied and taken care of like someone with rubella or a pneumonia. And then quarantined and kept out of the public eye. Duh.