F-Listed Sexpert Q&A: How to Make a Good Girl Reveal Her Wild Side- PART 1

Q - This was a very informative post, one only dare to wonder how well you take care of your man , but I digress. Basically my question is, how do you actually get a woman to be comfortable enough to express herself so profoundly with you? I mean, is it just a matter of being patient and waiting the years it may require for her to get to this level, or is there some proactive measure you can take to speed things along? Please advise.

Several of you have written me after last week’s Hump Wednesdays post inquiring on how to make one’s female partner channel their inner “bad girl” so that she is willing to share her profoundest sexual secrets and desires with you. This can be tricky, and there are several different elements to this, but I would say that it pretty much balls down to trust, confidence, and turning control over to the woman.

Learn the specifics in 3…2…1….

Click on video if you really want to get in the mood. Racy lyrics NSFW.

Sexual Compatibility

Before we get into the nitty gritty, I think it’s important to discuss sexual compatibility, since it plays a key role in a working relationship. If it is a “bad girl” you seek, then don’t be so quick to call her a wh*re when your third-eye discovers exactly how mind-blowing she is at oral. Don’t waste your time thinking about what she had to do to become an expert at fellatio, just sit back and enjoy the ride!

Similarly, if you want a “good girl,” don’t b*tch and moan when your third-eye discovers she doesn’t even like oral. Blasphemous, I know, to think that your woman doesn’t want to go down on you, but as much as we change over time, we have to accept that we can’t change people. Some people are naturally more sexually hungry and curious than others.

For example, I knew this dude who often defined any woman who’d sucked over 10 c*ckwursts a whore, which I thought was retarded considering most of the women he dated where in their late 20s, early 30s. (That’s about a d*ck per year, if you start fooling around when you’re 18!)

Anyhoo, so he wound up dating this 30-something-year-old virgin and kept whining about how she’d never given head and how he could get her to change her mind. Newsflash, asshole, she’s a virgin in her 30s! It’s not my style, but whatever. The woman is a virgin! If you want someone to suck you off, don’t choose a girl who doesn’t want to! But I digress. 

Whether or not you like facials or basic missionary, both sexual exploits are perfectly natural and healthy, but what matters most is that you’re with someone who is on the same page as you. Helping a woman come out of her shell isn’t the same thing as making her do stuff she has zero interest in doing. That being said, let’s get dirty!!!

Be a Gentleman

I would venture to say the average woman loves “bad boys” as much as men love “bad girls,” but ultimately we want someone we can be comfortable with; someone we can trust. In other words, don’t kiss and tell. We don’t want the whole world to know we like getting choked while  your Loch Ness monster knocks on our backdoor.

Honesty and respect play a huge role in how women behave in the bedroom. If all you’re looking for is a f^ck-buddy, but you’re pretending you want more, stop right there. Don’t you know us women are extremely intuitive?! Chances are we know you’re intentions are kinda shady. There’s no way we’re going to let you lick our chocolate starfish if we suspect no follow-up date is to be had. Talk to your woman, let your intentions be know, albeit relationship or sex-based. You’d be surprised, sometimes all we’re looking for is a partner to have fun in the bedroom with. 

Make Her Feel Beautiful, Confident

Confidence is everything. A woman who feels beautiful, sexy, and smart is going to deliver in a way that a woman with low self-esteem ever will. When a woman is confident, she’s not looking at the reflection of you two making love in the mirror and thinking, “Ugh, I need to lose 5 lbs. I am soo fat!” No, a confidant woman looks in the mirror and says to herself, “Ugh, I love watching us in the mirror while his hard, throbbing c*ck is inside me!”

It’s not very hard to make us feel good about ourselves. When you wake up in the morning and roll over to see your lady’s pretty face, tell her how much you love and appreciate her. Say, “I just want you to know how much I love being with you. I always have fun with you. Thank you for being yourself. You’re beautiful.” Putty in your hands. Trust me. 

Of course, you can change the lingo a bit to suit your needs. Don’t say “love” if love isn’t in the equation. Above all, don’t lie to her. If you don’t look at your woman and see beauty, chances are you’re going to lie and shouldn’t be with her altogether. After you are through reading this, take 15 minutes to think about your partner. What do you like/love most about her? Make a mental note and then be sure to tell her. Above all else, it must be sincere. No cheese. No lies. We know when a man is not telling the truth, even if you think we don’t know!

Texting is an easy and effective method of foreplay that has the potential to make a woman feel sexy and beautiful. Think about it: Your woman is stuck at work, cursing her boss on the inside, when she gets a text message from you that reads, “I don’t want to be at work now. I wish I was in bed with you. I keep thinking of how sexy you are and am getting hot just thinking of what I’d want to do to you.” It lets her know you’re thinking of her, without being vulgar or over the top. By the time you both get off work, you should be running to the bed!

There are other ways to make her feel beautiful too. Tell her girlfriends how happy you are with her and how beautiful you think she is. Girls talk! She’ll find out what you said. Another option is leaving a note in bathroom mirror for her to find when she wakes up in the morning. Or better yet, put the note in her purse! Don’t listen to your guy friends when they call you “gay” for channeling your sensitive side. You’re the one whose going to be having mind-blowing sex while they’re pumping their fists to online porn!

This post wound up being much longer than I intended, but I think it’s a really important topic to discuss. I’ve gone ahead and divided this into two posts and will put Part 2 up sometime towards the end of this week. There are still some things I haven’t covered that are important. For men that wrote me asking about how to make a woman come out of her shell, this may not be the sexy response you were awaiting, but it definitely holds true. 

It’s easy for us to get caught up in the hustle of bustle that is life and forget to take a step back and appreciate what makes our lives so wonderful. Our partners are definitely a part of that, and it is our duty as their significant other to say “Thank you” and “You’re wonderful” every now and again. Yes, actions speak louder than words, but it’s always nice to hear “You’re beautiful.” And that holds true for men, just as it does women. Let your partner know how happy you are and they will definitely show you their appreciation in the bedroom. 

As usual, I know the post is long, but I’m giving you guys the best advice that I can give, and not the usual BS you find on sites like About.com or whatnot. If any of you have any questions or thoughts they’d like to share, feel free to hit me up at mmartinez@flisted.com. Nothing is off limits! (And yes, that is me with the corndogs. What can I say, I’m a classy girl!)

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed