Pick-Up Lesson #2: The Foundation of Confidence

What is your crowning achievement in life? Mine would probably be graduating from college.

Graduating from college didn’t give me confidence though. My confidence in school was there long before I graduated, and I wouldn’t have graduated at all, if it weren’t already there. I would have choked if I had doubts. Tests would have been harder, if I were nervous. Instead, I knew I could do it, so when times got tough, I was able to navigate through my troubles.

This same principle of building confidence along the journey and not from the end result applies to Pick-Up.

Look at the boy in the picture, does he look confident? Yes. Does he look like he has a reason to be? I would think so, despite his age. This is what you portray to people when you are confident, regardless of what you have actually done or who you actually are.

When you were younger, did you ever consider taking karate to deal with a problem? Do you think you would have taken the classes, building confidence for a fight, or were the classes going to automatically make you win the fight? No, they weren’t.

You had to build confidence swinging a bat and standing in the box for pitches, before you hit one out of the park, right?

Confidence, above anything else in life, is built from within. It is a quality that can enhance or destroy other areas of a person’s life. The groundwork for confidence can be laid at any stage in life. A simple way to build confidence is to write down everything you are and everything that your momma would be proud of you for. For instance, I am a loyal friend and I am very honest. Those two things might not seem something to be proud of, but, if I can confidently exhibit loyalty and honesty to a woman….   well, you see the value.

You must be able to see yourself as valuable before anyone else can. You might have some traits that girls find enamoring, but you just don’t know it! (Did you know that a lot of girls like nerdy, hairy, quiet, and unique guys? Those are the girls that guys want, too! They are typically the natural beauties that have seen all the other jerk-offs and want something real!)

Confidence is not important because of something that you have done or something you are. It is essential because it enables you to do something or to become something.

For example: A golfer wins a golf tournament, because he was confident that if he worked hard, he could do it. NOT: A golfer wins a golf tournament, because he worked hard. After the tournament, he was confident he could win.

The latter just does not happen! The Giants knew they could beat the Patriots! Ohio State had the confidence that they were a great team, if not, Texas would have put the hurt on them!

Michael Phelps did not know he would win so much gold, but I guarantee you that he DID NOT DOUBT himself.

When you walk into a bar and use the 3-second rule, (will be discussed more in-depth later, but pretty much, you have 3 seconds to see a girl you like, and approach her) you approach with confidence, you will add on to something that was already there. Confidence is not created out of thin air, but it can be built.

Homework: Take all of the compliments, awards, achievements, and traits that you have acquired over the years and make them part of your daily routine. Remind yourself, everyday, about the things that should cause you to have confidence. Revel in your accomplishments and come out with your head high.