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Most blog owners/editors, no matter how talented, are arrogant and full of themselves (just like celebrities). They forget where they came from and have no intention of helping people who are just starting or who have less of a popular blog than they do.

I’ve asked 2 or 3 of the more popular blogs to help a brother out and put my site on their links page or blog roll with no reply or “sorry I’m not taking link exchanges anymore”.

So I stopped asking. I’m just gonna have to outwrite them.

XOXO

Melysa

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It’s odd, but until you have a cat as a pet, you just don’t appreciate them. Now (for example), I see cats in TV commercials and they are given depth, personality. Prior to having any cats I’d see them on TV and it was just ‘cat one does action a’ ‘cat two does action b’, there was no reality to it, I was very detached from their behavior.

But in my wildest dreams I would not have ever pictured myself as a cat parent. Now, I could not picture myself as being otherwise.

I had hermit crabs when I was a kid too. You take the word ‘hermit’ out of that last sentence and boy, you get a whole new meaning. They are excellent climbers, which I was unaware of until one escaped his open topped sand dune container by climbing up the vine of a plant of my windowsill overhead. Still, even then I had no idea what was happening, he would come and go like magic. Finally, I saw him IN the plant pot and realized he had acquired himself a second home away from his beachfront property.

I used to keep small lizards and frogs as pets, but never replaced them after they died. I had become too emotionally attached to their food. Those weekly trips to get a puffy aired bag full of doomed crickets left me feeling sort of evil. So, no way in hell I’d have snakes. Mice as FOOD? Argh…way too ‘V’ for me**

**=Remember the 80′s TV miniseries ‘V’? When the alien lady was up in the mothership snacking on various little mammals? Fuck me dead…

Haha. Sorry, it’s my twisted sense of humor. I don’t really stink, but I like grossing people out sometimes. But I’ll be gentle and won’t offend your olfactory system (i.e., your brain) and paint happy thoughts complete with fields of daffodils and lillies and roses. And naked women. Because, why not? RIght?

Alright, good, so you don’t think I’m crazy. My dog totally understands what I’m saying, but some people really think it makes one cookoo too talk to your pets. And I don’t do it in that annoying baby voice either. I just talk to her the way I’d talk to anyone else.

My first dog was a chihuaha and she was crazy!! She totally had a Napoleon complex and would challenge everyone and anyone who walked in through our door. She even chased burglars away and attacked our neighbor’s bulldog for no reason!

Cats, meh. Not to offend, just never been a fan. I’m too love-dovey squishing and athletic for a cat. I want to be hugged and run around the yard throwing sticks with Kayla. (That’s my four-legged daughter’s name.) That, and I’m super allergic. I can’t visit my friends with cat’s for more than 45 minutes otherwise I’m driving home with my eyes sealed shut and sneezing the entire way. It sucks ’cause I’m a total animal person, too.

Right now all I can afford is my dog, but growing up I had tons of pets. At one point we had two dogs, two birds, fish, a rabbit that had a cage outside, but hung out inside our house and knew to poop in the yard, two ferrets in a cage we called “The Mansion” cause it was huge (my dad was a total handyman and him and my brother built it), and six snakes in a big fish tank, mice for the snakes, and I used to collect tadpoles at the local botanical gardens and watch them grow into frogs before setting them free in the botanical gardens again. Oh, and hermit crabs. I had two pet hermit crabs for two years, that I eventually let free back in the beach. Yeah, I love animals. I love going to the zoo and just having a beer and hanging out.

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed

You caught me right in the nick of time, I was just about to jump in the shower! I absolutely can give you some pointers on that! Maybe I’ll make that my Hump Wednesdays post for tomorrow, if not next week. In a nutshell, that area has a lot of nerves and is very sensitive and thus has a very unique feeling when stimulated. I think the biggest thing to remember is being comfortable. It’s easy to feel comfortable with a man when you’re riding him from up top, but the truth is that when people start addressing more intimate areas, people can get sheepish. In the case of women, orgasms and sex, a lot of it is mental, so the minute we feel uncomfortable, don’t expect us to orgasm. First things first, talk to her about it! If it seems like too much, write out your thoughts and correspond through letters. Not like, in the mail, but over the course of the day or couple of days. I’ve done this because I think it takes away the bashful side of things and let’s you put everything down on paper, plus if you forget something, you can always write it down later. It’s not like a conversation, where sometimes you forget and you can’t bring it up again later ’cause the time has passed. As for percentages, I honestly can say that from my girlfriends and I it’s a 50/50. But like I said in the Blowjob Etiquette post (see here:http://flisted.com/59780/hump-wednesdays-thursday-blowjob-etiquette/) I’ve come to notice a pattern in women. A lot of girls who don’t like one thing, don’t like a lot of other things either. That is to say, if they don’t like anal, chances are they don’t like getting their starfish licked or really ENJOY giving oral. Also, another factor you should take into consideration, don’t expect us to look like the chicks in adult films. Chances are our pucker isn’t bleached white like porn stars, and that’s another factor that makes women uncomfortable. Some of us think that you guys expect us to look like the girls in the movies, and if we don’t you’ll be grossed out. But this is how I see it, chances are you don’t look like Jason Statham, so why should I look like Jesse Jane or Tera Patrick? Does that make sense? I will be happy to give you a more detailed and well thought out approach to this later on. These are just some quick things off the top of my head. Hope it helped!!!!! And yes, feel free to e-mail me whenever you have any questions. I feel funny giving myself the title of sexpert, but the truth is I’ve always been the most adventurous one of all my girlfriends, and chances are I’ve probably tried it or at least researched it because I considered doing it. So really, no questions are off limits. I am pretty well versed in the world of sex. =)

XOXO

Melysa

F-Listed