F-Listed Sexpert Q&A: Interracial Dating & How Long It Takes to Make Whoopie (Not Goldberg)

In a world where talking about sex is as taboo as it is to talk about religion and politics, I think having a healthy sexual appetite and knowing the way things work in the world of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll can only be of greater assistance to society, than a downfall.

It is for this reason that I encourage all of you to e-mail me at mmartinez@flisted.com with whatever questions you may have and I will try to the best of my Rican abilities to answer them for all of you. No questions are off limits!

Let’s use this opportunity to ask and discuss that sex Q&As that no one else has the cojones to answer. I encourage everyone to use the comment section and forum as places to discuss a very important part of human lives: s-e-x. Because if we don’t do it, who else will?

Check out last week’s Q&A’s here. New Q’s this way >>>

Q – Hi, I was reading through you Tip of the Days, and I thought I’d ask you a random question. I read that you’re Puerto Rican, and I’ve always wondered this about Latina women, do they like Asian guys? I’d say that I’m a pretty attractive Asian guy and decently put together. I think Latina girls are beautiful and I feel a strong physical and cultural connection to them. But I guess living in a melting pot like Los Angeles, there’s definitely a lot of walls you have to get over when you get with another race. So yeah, your opinion would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

Hello there! Do Latin women like Asian guys? That’s an interesting question! I would definitely have to go with YES! There are certain South American countries that are considered to be the adopted homeland to many Chinese immigrants, in especially the countries Peru and Panama, who have a large Chinese population. Jamaica also has a large population of Chinese, otherwise known as Chinese-Jamaicans.

One of my closest girlfriends is Chinese-Jamaican, and I was surprised to discover that her and I have many similar traditions, in part because of the Chinese culture and in part because of the Jamaican culture. Prior to having met her, I never would have thought Puerto Ricans would have had the much in common with Chinese-Jamaicans.

In addition to that, I have also noticed a rather large population of people in the U.S. who are of Filipino and Puerto Rican descent, such as models Justene and Dawn Jaro, as well as model Daphne Joy.

If you are interested in a Latina, I say go for it! I was born and raised in Puerto Rico and I have dated black, white, Asian, Latino, European, Indian, etc. People should only be off limits because of their personality, but never because of race or ethnicity! In today’s day-and-age, interracial dating should not be a problem. If the person you are trying to hook up with does have problem with it, then clearly they are close-minded and you should not be with them. You want someone who is on the same wavelength as you.

XOXO

Melysa

Q – Hi Melysa, just read your Ladys Taco post , and I loved it. A nice honest educational post. So thank you for that (and it confirmed my unbelievable oral abilities !! lol). So I’ve got a question: How long “should” sex be? I’m curious to know what length should actual intercourse be. You hear stories of people having marathon sessions, not porn stars, but everyday people. Friends of mine who have couple hour sessions( not sure how they last that long). On average, or for you… whats a good amount of time and how many orgasms satisfy you when having sex?

I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the bit on how to eat a woman out! Someone needs to tell the men what women want… and preferable NOT Dr. Ruth! As for how long sex should take, it really all depends on you and your partner. Not even as individuals, but on each individual time you have sex. Each time is different. Sometimes you want it to last longer, other times you’re pressed for time but are just dying to feel that wave of release wash over you even if after just five minutes. (Literally.)

In 2008, a survey conducted among a group of sex therapists concluded that the ideal time was between 3 – 13 minutes. When you hear of people having sexy “for hours,” they don’t usually mean intercourse. At least, I hope not! On average, it takes a lot more to start a woman’s engine, and get her pistons all wet and lubricated, than just sticking it in there and going to town like Peter North or Ron Jeremy. The truth is most of us need to be stimulated and aroused before actually having intercourse.  So if your friends say they went at it for 3 hours, they probably spent a good 30 minutes on foreplay , before going into oral, and then having intercourse, before starting everything up again. The trick is to vary what you are doing enough that you don’t get bored or tired. No one wants to give oral for 15 minutes.

Personally speaking, I have had sex and orgasmed in as little as 1 minute (No exaggeration!), but have also gone at it for hours on end. But like I said, “hours on end” is a blend of foreplay, dirty talk, oral sexy, and intercourse. That’s perfect when you haven’t seen each other in a while (i.e., returned from business trip) and you don’t have to wake up early the next day. The amount of orgasms one has doesn’t necessarily mean anything either. Some orgasms are more intense than others, and whether or not you have 1 or 5, all that really matters is how intense it is and that you were having fun getting to that point.

Overall, I would say the best amount of time on average is anywhere from 20 – 45 minutes, including foreplay. With people leading busy lives, I can’t honestly say that we have an hour or two to spend making like bunny rabbits every day of the week. We’d never show up to work the next day! If you are having trouble “lasting” that long, you should look into practicing your kegel exercises (Google it. You won’t regret it.). Kegel exercises (both male and female) not only make one last longer, but it makes sex more pleasurable, and often makes for more intense orgasms. Which, really, who doesn’t want that?

XOXO

Melysa

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