New Year's Eve Resolutions

A lot of people are expressing their hopes for ’09 and what they are going to do to better themselves. Why? I don’t know. I have much more immediate concerns!

Forget trying to quit all my bad habits, work out more, or not beating it every time I get bored for all of 2009! I simply want to not repeat the mistakes of last year’s New Year’s Festivities. Thankfully, I will not be in New Orleans this year, which should solve some of my problems.

Here’s my Resolutions for tonight:

1) No strip clubs (this has been a re-occurring New Year theme lately)

2) I am going to be in a cab home, with a lady-friend, by 1 AM

3) I am not going to get so drunk that I forget where I was when ’09 started

4) I am not going to get in a cab by myself, to go anywhere, especially a strip club, dance club, Bangkok Spa, or a 24-hour diner

5) No throwing up in any cab, bus, or venue

6) I am not going to go home at 3 AM and ring in the New Year by ringing on my dingy